Voila! Finally, the Wonder Boys
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Michael Douglas,
Frances McDormand, and Tobey Maguire movie. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Wonder Boys. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
A worried man
with a worried mind
No one in front of me
and nothing behind
There 's a woman on my lap
and she's
Drinkin' champagne
Got white skin
got assassin 's eyes
I'm looking up into
the sapphire-tinted skies
I'm well-dressed
Waitin' on the last train
Standing on the gallows
with my head in the noose
Any minute now I'm expecting
all hell to break loose
People are crazy
and times are strange
I'm locked in tight
I'm out of range
I used to care but
Things have changed
[Bell Chiming]
[Man Reading]
"The young girl...
sat perfectly
still in the confessional...
Iistening to her father's boots
scrape like chalk...
on the ancient steps
of the church...
then grow faint,
then disappear altogether.
She could sense the priest
beyond the grate--"
[Same Man Narrating] On that
particular Friday afternoon...
Iast February...
I was reading a story to
my advanced writer's workshop...
by one James Leer,
junior Lit major...
and sole inhabitant
of his own gloomy gulag.
"She bit the flesh of her lip...
closed her eyes, mute."
[Narrating]James' stories were
about as sunny as his disposition.
I was distracted.
Maybe it had something to do
with the fact...
that my wife
had left me that morning.
So. Anyone?
Maybe not.
Wives had left me before.
- Carrie.
-As usual, James' classmates...
aware of a writer's
inherent vulnerability...
offered their sensitive,
gentle opinions.
I mean, Jesus,
what is it with you Catholics?
- [ Laughing ]
- All right. All right.
Let's try to be
constructive here, shall we?
Howard , what about you?
- I hated it.
- [Laughter]
His stories make me
want to kill myself.
That's not exactly what I meant
by being constructive, Howard .
Yes, Hannah?
I think maybe we're
missing the point.
[Narrating]
Hannah Green.
A talented writer who
rented a room in my house.
I knew her to be
insightful, kind...
and compulsively clad
in red cowboy boots.
I had, in fact, never once
seen her without them.
He respects us enough to forget us,
and... that takes courage.
Well put, Hannah. And a good note
to end on, I think.
Oh, don 't forget about
WordFest this weekend.
And those of you who are
driving V.I.P.s...
to the
cocktail party this evening...
should have them
at the chancellor's house...
no later than : .
[ Chattering ]
Thank you for that.
Is he all right?
I think so.
How about you?
Me? Yeah. Why?
Just checking.
[James]
Turn off the light, please.
[Narrating]
It felt good to be in the car.
Alone.
Where I could clear my head.
Tonight was
the opening of WordFest...
the university's annual
three-day "gabathon "...
for writers and wanna-bes.
My editor, Terry Crabtree,
was flying in for the event.
He alone had championed my
last novel, Arsonist's Daughter...
and its critical success
had put us both on the map.
But that was seven years ago...
and I still hadn't
finished my follow-up.
I knew Terry didn't give
a rat's ass about WordFest.
He was coming to town to get
a look at my long-overdue book.
I had to keep him at bay.
-Ah, Tripp.
-Crabtree, how are you, my friend?
- It's good to see you, Tripp.
- Let me help you with this.
Say hello to my new friend.
- Miss Antonia--
- Sloviak.
Nice to meet you.
This way.
I took the liberty of inviting
Antonia to tonight's festivities.
The more the merrier.
Terry was telling me
about you on the plane.
It was all so interesting.
I was just explaining how
a book comes to be published...
what you do as a writer,
what I do as an editor.
I sweat blood for five years,
and he corrects my spelling.
- That's exactly what he said.
- We know each other pretty well.
And actually,
it's seven years.
You know how many times I've
board ed an airplane just praying...
that some gal like her would be
sitting down beside me?
- She's a transvestite.
- You're stoned.
- She's still a transvestite.
- So, how's the book?
Uh, it's fine.
It's done.
Basically. I got a little tinkering
I've still got to do.
Great!
I was hoping I could get a look
at it sometime over the weekend.
It's gonna be a little tough. I'm
at a critical juncture right now.
I thought you were
just tinkering.
W-Well, I am, but I have little
details I've got to work on.
I'm not gonna pressure you.
I just got off the plane.
I mean, I get pressure.
You know? I get--
Know what I mean?
What the hell in the hootenanny
do you suppose that would be?
[ Tripp ]
That would be a tuba.
[ Terry] You didn't actually
purchase this car, did you?
No, I got it from Jerry Nathan.
He owed me some money.
Ah! He owes God money.
Including my commission
on that faux novel of his.
That perfume you're wearing,
Antonia...
that wouldn't happen
to be Cristalle, would it?
Um, uh, yes, it is.
- How did you know?
- Lucky guess.
[ Tripp Narrating]
The WordFest kickoff party...
was always held at
Sara and Walter Gaskell's house.
She was the chancellor, which
meant she oversaw the university.
Her husband, Dr. Gaskell...
was the chairman
of the English Department...
which meant he oversaw me.
Isn't that a nice greenhouse?
It's Mrs. Gaskell's.
It's her hobby.
[ Terry ] I thought you were
Mrs. Gaskell's hobby.
Piss off, will you, Crabs?
I lost a wife today.
You'll find another. She'll be
young, beautiful. They always are.
Oh, hello, everyone.
Terry, good to see you again.
Chancellor.
Don't you look ravishing.
-Oh, oh. Easy.
-[ Chuckling ] I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
It's these goddamn shoes.
I don't know how anyone
can walk in these things.
Practice.
- I don't believe we've met.
- Antonia Sloviak.
- [Dog Growling]
- Poe.
- [ Barking ]
- Poe! Poe!
Poe, stop! Poe!
That wouldn't be
Walter's dog, would it?
- Poe!
- Who's he barking at now?
He 's still barking at me.
He 's blind.
Stop this.
[ Chuckling ]
Honestly.
Excuse me, I need to talk to you
for a second, Chancellor.
I need to talk to you too.
Maybe you could help me take these
coats to the upstairs guest room.
I'd be happy to if I knew where
the upstairs guest room was.
I could show you.
- [ Continues Barking ]
- Terry.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
We'll make ourselves at home.
We'll let Poe show us around.
Thanks.
That's new, isn't it?
Yeah, Walter just
got it back from the framer.
You first.
- This morning--
- I'm pregnant.
I'm sure.
Well, that's--
That's very surprising.
Does Walter know that, uh--
I think Walter would find this
a little more than surprising.
Emily left me this morning.
She's left before.
She's left the room before,
but she's always come back.
So.
I guess we just divorce
our spouses, marry each other...
and have this baby, right?
Simple.
Yeah, right. Simple.
Is that Cristalle?
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, God.
I wear the same scent
as a transvestite.
She is a transvestite,
isn't she?
If she's not now,
Terry'll make sure she is...
by the end of the evening.
Has he asked you
about the book yet?
Yes.
And?
Are you gonna tell him?
No. Maybe. I don't know
what I'm gonna do.
Me either.
- [ Sniffing ]
- [Man ]DiMaggio 's record...
for hits in consecutive games...
is probably the most impressive
feat in all of sports...
and in my opinion,
will never be broken.
- Come here, big guy.
- His condition's so sad.
Yes, but even blind,
he still gets around.
[Narrating]
I don't drink normally...
but this was turning out to be
one fucked-up day.
And now I found myself in close
proximity to Sara 's husband...
and his dog, Poe.
-Walter, I see you've met my friend.
-Oh, yes. She's charming.
Despite his much-vaunted
Harvard education...
Dr. Walter Gaskell didn't have
a clue about his wife and me.
Simply put, Di Maggio represented--
metaphorically speaking, of course--
the husband as slugger.
[Narrating]Poe had been
on to me since day one.
- [ Poe Growling ]
- In fact, I personally believe...
that every woman in some way
desires to be Marilyn Monroe.
Oh, I couldn't agree more.
[Man ] I've had a lot
of successes over the years.
[Narrating]
Q. Q was rich.
Q was famous.
Q completed a novel
every months.
I hated him.
...finest work vanished
in less than five.
So I find myself conflicted.
Ask him if he's conflicted
about his house in the Hamptons.
- Grady.
- Well, Professor.
Q. for your information...
Hannah already has
two stories published...
in The Paris Review, so you
better dust off your "A " material.
You didn't tell me
you were a writer.
You didn't ask.
[Man ]How did you feel
about the adaptation?
I thought it was more literary
than cinematic.
[Man ]
Grady.
Douglas Triddley, Amherst.
I've had Arsonist 's Daughter...
on my graduate-studies syllabus
three years running.
No wonder it's still in print.
[ Woman ]Long time since
Arsonist's Daughter.
[ Walter]
There you are.
I could have sworn I had a bottle
of Lafite Rothschild for Q.
Given that he's going to be
addressing people...
in less than an hour--
- You want to keep Q happy.
- If he's happy, I'm happy.
[ Twig Snaps]
James?
It's fake.
It was my mother's.
She won it in a penny arcade
in Baltimore...
when she went
to Catholic school.
Well, that's very convincing.
I used to shoot
these little paper caps...
but they don't make them anymore,
the caps.
It's just for good luck, you know?
Some people carry rabbit's feet.
You carry firearms.
No, thank you. I don't like
to lose control of my emotions.
I'm not supposed to be here,
in case you're wondering.
But the other night I was out
with Hannah at the movies...
and she asked me since she was
coming, so I ended up coming too.
You and, uh, Hannah,
you're seeing each other?
- No! What gave you that idea?
-James, relax.
I'm not her father.
I just rent her a room.
She likes old movies like I do,
that's all.
- What's the movie you guys saw?
- Son of Fury...
with Tyrone Power
and Frances Farmer.
She went crazy,
Frances Farmer.
So did Gene Tierney.
She's in it too.
- Sounds like a good one.
- It wasn't bad.
You're not like
my other teachers, Prof. Tripp.
You're not like
my other students, James.
Look, James...
about this afternoon
in workshop, I'm sorry.
I think I let things
get a little out of hand.
They really hated it.
I think they hated it more
than any of the other ones.
- Well--
- Doesn't matter.
It only took me
an hour to write.
Really? That's remarkable.
I have trouble sleeping.
While I'm lying in bed,
I figure them out, the stories.
- You cold, James?
- Oh, a little.
Why don 't we go inside?
It's colder in there.
[ Chuckles ]
I guess you're right.
Actually, I saw the greenhouse.
I thought I'd come outside and take
a look at it. It looks like heaven.
- Looks like heaven?
- I saw a movie once.
Part of it took place in heaven.
Everyone wore white.
Lived in crystal houses
like that.
I really should be going.
- Good-bye, Prof. Tripp.
- Hey, James.
James, don't go. No.
There's something
I want you to see.
- I'll miss my bus.
- It's worth it.
Trust me.
[Hannah ]
Let me help you with that.
Thank you, dear.
Thank you.
Come on.
[Hannah ]Hey, you two.
James, are you riding with me?
- No, I'm going home--
- No, he's going with me.
Why don't you take Crabtree
and his friend? All right?
- All right.
- Where are they anyway?
Here we are.
Hmm. Well, hello there.
James, this is my editor,
Terry Crabtree.
James.
[Hannah ]James'll know
about George Sanders.
- George Sanders?
- Mr. Crabtree was saying...
how George Sanders killed himself,
only he couldn't remember how.
Pills. April
in a Costa Brava hotel room.
- How comprehensive of you.
- [Hannah ]James is amazing.
He knows all the movie suicides.
Go ahead, James. Tell him.
- There are so many.
- Well, just a few. The big ones.
Pier Angeli, or '
also pills.
Donald " Red " Barry,
shot himself in .
Charles Boyer,
pills again.
Charles Butterworth,
I think. In a car.
Supposedly, it was an accident,
but, you know, he was distraught.
Dorothy Dandridge, pills, .
Albert Dekker, .
He hung himself.
He wrote his suicide note
in lipstick on his stomach.
William lnge,
carbon monoxide, .
Carole Landis, pills again.
I forget when.
George Reeves,
"Superman" on TV, shot himself.
Jean Seberg, pills,
of course, .
Everett Sloane--
he was good-- pills.
Margaret Sulla van, pills.
Lupe Velez, a lot of pills.
Gig Young, he shot himself
and his wife in .
There are tons more.
- I haven't heard of half of them.
- You did them alphabetically.
It's just how my bra in works,
I guess.
Fascinating.
Come out with us
after the lecture.
There's this place
I always get Tripp to take me.
-Actually, I just want to go home.
-Don 't be silly.
No one your age
just wants to go home.
Besides, faculty will be present.
Just consider it a field trip.
[James]
ls that really it?
That's really it.
The one she wore
on her wedding day.
So I'm told.
- Go ahead.
- Really?
Really.
She was small.
Most people don't know that.
The shoulders
are so small.
It looks so perfect.
I bet it's the only time
she wore it.
That day.
She must have felt so happy.
- Must've cost Dr. Gaskell a lot.
- I guess.
He also never tells Sara
the truth...
about how much
he pays for these things.
You're really good friends
with the chancellor, aren't you?
Pretty good.
I'm friends
with her husband too.
I guess you must be if you know
the combination to his closet...
and he doesn't mind you being
in here in their bedroom.
- Right.
- [Door Closing]
[People Chattering]
[ Woman ]
Drive carefully.
Stick close
to me in case it gets slippery.
We better skedaddle.
James--
[ Sniffling ]
You all right, James?
Oh. I'm sorry,
Prof. Tripp.
Maybe it's...
seeing that jacket
that belonged to her.
It just looks
really lonely...
hanging there
in a closet.
Maybe I'm just
a little sad tonight.
I'm a little
sad tonight too, James.
You mean, with your wife
leaving you and all?
Hannah mentioned something
about it.
Yeah, well,
it's complicated, James.
I think we should go now.
[Metal Jingling]
[ Sniffing ]
[ Growling ]
[ Gasps ]
Easy, easy.
He's a good boy, Poe.
Poe's a good boy. Easy, Poe.
Easy. Good dog.
- [ Barking ]
- [ Yelling ]
Jesus Christ!
Get off!
[ Gunshots ]
Shit, James.
You shot Dr. Gaskell's dog.
But l--
I had to, didn't l?
You could've
pulled him off me.
No, the dog was crazy, Prof. Tripp.
The dog was attacking you!
Calm down, James.
Don't freak out, all right?
Okay. All right.
Do you have a mirror?
It's the best way to see
if someone's still breathing.
The dog is dead, James.
Believe me.
I know a dead dog
when I see one.
- Oh, shit.
- What are we supposed to do now?
First, you're gonna give me
that little cap gun of yours.
Come on.
Prof. Tripp,
what are we gonna do with...
it?
[ Sighs ] I don't know.
I'm still trying to figure out...
how to tell the chancellor
that I murdered her husband's dog.
- You?
- Trust me, James.
When the family pet's
been assassinated...
the owner
does not want to hear...
that one of her students
was the triggerman.
Does she wanna hear
it was one of her professors?
I've got tenure.
Hang on.
It's still warm.
Let's try feet first.
Yuck! That is a big trunk.
It holds a tuba, a suitcase...
a dead dog and a garment bag
almost perfectly.
Yep. That's just what they
used to say in the ads.
Come on, Crabtree.
I know you're holding.
Whose tuba is that anyway?
-Miss Sloviak's.
-Can I ask you something about her?
- Yes, she is.
- So is your friend Crabtree--
Is he-- Is he gay?
Most of the time he is, James.
Some of the time he isn't.
What do we have here?
This looks like--
That's our old friend
Mr. Codeine.
That should take the old pinch
out of the ankle. You want one?
- No, thanks. I'm fine without them.
- Right.
That's why you were standing
in the chancellor's backyard ...
spinning that cap gun of yours.
You're fine. Yeah, you're just
as fit as a fucking fiddle.
[ Sighs ] I'm sorry, James.
I'm sorry I said that.
How about we try that again?
[ Walter] It is
a great pleasure to introduce...
best-selling author
Quentin Morewood...
known to his friends
simply as Q.
[ Applauding ]
[Applause Subsides]
I... am a writer.
[ Applauding ]
As a writer, you learn that
everyone you meet has a story.
Every bartender,
every taxi driver...
has an idea that would make
a great book.
Presumably
each of you has an idea.
But how do you get
from there to here?
What is the bridge from
the water's edge of inspiration...
to the far shore
of accomplishment?
[ Laughing ]
Faith.
Faith that your story
is worth the telling.
Faith that you have
the wherewithal to tell it.
And faith that the carefully woven
structure that you create...
won 't collapse beneath you.
And faith that when you
get to the other side...
there will be someone waiting...
who gives a damn
about the tale you have to tell.
- I'll be back in a minute.
- Like Whitman, I admit...
I worship at the shrine
of formal construction.
But like Conrad, I confess that
I have a secret sharer in my work.
My double, my other self.
I am haunted by this
malignant, remorseless shadow--
[Fading, lndistinct]
Grady.
Grady.
You had another one again,
didn't you?
Is the thing--
Is it over?
Almost. Wanna sit up?
[ Groaning ]
What's wrong?
Nothing, I just twisted--
Sara, there's something
I've gotta tell you.
Something hard .
Stand up then. I'm too old for all
this rolling around on the floor.
Give me a hand?
- Well, this evening--
- Don't.
I know what you're gonna say.
I don't think you do know
what I'm gonna say, Sara.
You love Emily. Of course you love
Emily. She's young, beautiful.
She's your wife.
You have to stay with her.
B-But I don't have a choice.
Emily left me.
She'll come back.
That's why I'm going to--
[ Softly ]
To not have this baby.
You're not gonna have it?
No, there's no way. I mean,
don't you think there's no way?
Well, I don't see any,
but I know what it means to you.
No, you don't.
And fuck you for saying you do,
for saying that there's no way.
Because there could
be a way, Grady.
[Applause, Distant]
They must be finishing.
We should go.
Whose gun is that?
A souvenir
from Baltimore.
It's heavy. Smells like--
[ Sniffing ]
- Gunpowder.
- Caps.
Pow.
You got me.
I love you, Grady.
The doors made so much noise.
It was so embarrassing.
They had to carry him out.
- Is he all right?
- He's fine. He's narrating.
They were going
to the men's room...
but would they
make it in time?
Terry Crabtree
and James Leer.
Leave it to you to make
that mistake. Wait here.
- I need a ride.
- I'm your man.
There's an explanation.
Couldn't he have just thrown
a shoe at the poor thing?
- Antonia, listen--
- Tony. Now that I'm home.
Tony...
I'm sorry tonight didn't work out
the way you'd hoped to with Terry.
Forget it.
Your friend is just...
I don't know,
into collecting weird tricks.
I think he'd
call it a habit.
I do get the feeling he's going
through the motions a little bit.
You mean because his career
is ruined and all?
Is that what he told you?
He said he hasn't had a success
in over five years, and...
everyone in New York
thinks he's kind of a loser.
But he said he's sure
your book's so good that...
he'll be able to keep his job.
And you're not one of those writers
who has a success and then...
freezes up
and never has another one.
You can turn here.
[Dog Barking]
Gotta go. I think I may
have to rescue James Leer.
You know, Grady, maybe...
you should think about
going home.
You look like you need
a little rescuing yourself.
[R&B]
- [Man ]Hey, Grady.
- How are you?
Can I get a double Dickel
on the rocks, please?
I'm right over here.
Double Dickel.
[ Chuckles ]
- Is that just beer?
- Primarily.
Although I gather that the two
of you staged a little raid...
on the Crabtree pharmacopoeia.
[Grady]
So where is everybody?
Sara and Walter declined.
I guess they just wanted...
to go home and curl up
on the couch with Poe.
-Jesus, he's out.
- He has a book.
I know. He started it
in fall semester.
Finished it winter break.
So is he any good?
- No, not yet he isn't.
- Well, I'm gonna read it anyway.
Oh, Crabs, come on, will ya?
He's one of my students,
for Christ's sakes.
-Besides, I'm not sure if he's, uh--
-He is.
I'm sure. Take my word for it.
I see myself in him.
I'm sure you do, but it's a little
more complicated than that.
Besides, he's a little
scattered right now.
He almost did something
really stupid tonight.
I don't think he needs
sexual confusion...
to mix up
the stew a little more.
On the contrary, I think
it might be just the ticket.
Double Dickel on the rocks.
"Oola"?
[ Terry]
Thanks, Oola.
- [Glasses Clink]
- Cheers.
Cheers.
[ Grunting ]
Oh, my goodness.
Do you see what I see?
Look there.
Let 's go. You first.
President of the James Brown
Hair Club for Men.
He's a boxer.
A flyweight.
No, no, he's a jockey.
His name is Curtis Hard apple.
Not Curtis.
Okay then, Vernon.
Vernon Hardapple.
The scars are from a horse. He fell
during a race. He got trampled.
He's addicted to painkillers.
He can't even piss
standing up anymore.
- Lives with his mother.
- That's right.
And he's got
a younger brother who's a--
- Who's a groom named Claudelle.
- Yeah.
His mother blames Vernon
for Claudelle 's death.
Great!
Because--
Because--
- Because--
- Because why?
[ Both Muttering ]
[James]He was killed when
a gangster named Freddy Nostrils...
tried to shoot
his favorite horse.
Claudelle
took the bullet himself.
Vernon, over there...
was in on the hit.
That was good.
Yeah, he heard
everything we said.
[Hannah ] Come on, Teach.
I want you to dance with me.
- No.
- Come on.
So I've been rereading
Arsonist's Daughter.
It's so beautiful, Grady.
It's so natural.
It's like all of your sentences
always existed, just...
waiting for up there in style
heaven for you to fetch them down.
I thank you.
And I love the inscription
you wrote to me.
Only I'm not quite
the downy innocent you think I am.
I hope that's not true.
We need all the downy
innocents we can get.
And it 's time to go
I need your love so bad
What this boy could use
is a nice, tall Coca-Cola.
- Let me help.
- No, we got him.
- I'll meet you two at the car.
- Oh, I see.
All right. Well, give me
the keys to the trunk.
I gotta get my property
out of there.
The trunk's a little sticky,
Crabs. I gotta do it.
Whatever.
Professor... Tripp.
Hannah, when you get James
back to his apartment...
make sure he's all right
before you leave, okay?
I would if I knew
where I was taking him.
Are you telling me you don't
know where James lives?
Some apartment somewhere.
I've never seen it.
- That strikes me as very odd.
-James is odd.
I know his aunt lives in Sewickley
Heights. I dropped him there once.
Come to think of it,
it wasn't his aunt's house.
He said
she worked there or something.
- I don't remember.
- I need my knapsack.
What's he saying?
His bag. You know that ugly green
thing he's always carrying around?
He must've
left it inside.
Aw, shit. He left it at Thaw.
The auditorium.
- Knapsack!
- All right.
- Let him crash at my house.
- Where should I put him?
In the shape that he's in,
you could stand him up...
in the garage next to the snow
shovels, and he'd be all right.
Grady, if you
wanna talk later...
I'll be up.
Hey, guy! Tripp, the trunk.
You're killing me.
- I'm gonna get it!
- Killin' me!
- [Man ] You drivin' this car?
- Excuse me?
This maroon
Ford Galaxy .
- You drivin' this car?
- This is my car.
-Bullshit! It 's mine, motherfucker!
-I'm afraid you're mistaken.
- Bullshit!
- Who is that?
Oh, Vernon, go home
to your mother, will you?
- What are you lookin' at?
- I'm lookin' at you, fella.
[ Chuckling ] Hit it, will you?
Come on, killjoy, go!
- Can we go now, den mother?
- What's with you?
I wonder.
Come on, Crabs.
The kid was comatose.
- Who started that?
- I was trying to calm him down.
Oh, yeah, you calmed him down,
Dr. Feelgood.
[Q]
Grady!
- Hit the brakes!
- Stop the car!
- Stop! Hey!
- What's his problem?
- Back up!
- Get out of the car! Hey!
[ Terry]
Go around, go around him.
- I'm stopping you!
- I don't think so!
[ Whooping ]
Come back here!
- What's this?
- [ Terry] It 's a one- way, guy.
- [ Laughing ]
- [Q] Go, go, go!
[ Terry]
Look out! He 's back!
-Now what?
-[ Terry] You owe him a book too?
You could always
drive over him.
What the hell
was that?
I just got
my hood jumped on.
- Wait here. I'll be right back.
- Where would we go?
[Machine Running]
Hold on a second.
Prof. Tripp.
I guess you're here
for the backpack.
It's Traxler.
Sam.
I saw the manuscript inside,
so when you showed up I figured--
[Grady Narrating]
The Love Parade. So it was true.
The little prick
had finished his book.
- Is it good?
- I don't know. It might be.
[Bell Chiming]
[Narrating]
So there it was.
Somewhere in the night
a Manhattan book editor...
was prowling
the streets of Pittsburgh...
best-selling author
at his side...
dead dog in his trunk.
Say, Prof. Tripp.
Is all that stuff true
about Errol Flynn?
How he used to put paprika
on his dick...
to make it,
you know, like...
more stimulating
for the chick?
Christ, Traxler,
how the hell should I know?
You're reading his biography,
aren't you?
Oh.
No, it's true. He used to rub
all sorts of things on it.
Salad dressing,
ground lamb.
Sick.
[Narrating] Whenever I wondered
what Sara saw in me...
and I wondered
more than once...
I always came back to the fact
that she loved to read.
She read everything,
every spare moment.
She was a junkie
for the printed word.
And lucky for me...
I manufactured
her drug of choice.
[ Traxler]
ls that your wife?
No, my wife's out of town.
What exactly
are we doing here...
Prof. Tripp?
Taking the long way home.
- Take it easy, Prof. Tripp.
- Thanks for the ride.
[Narrating]
I told myself...
I needed to put
everything aside for the moment.
Emily, Sara,
the purloined jacket...
and the dead dog,
and work on my book.
It was started out
as a small book.
Probably about,
oh, pages.
[ Dings ]
It had gotten
a little larger in scope.
[ Keys Clattering ]
And the ending,
it kept getting further away.
But the ending was there.
I knew it.
I could almost see it.
[Grady]
James? I'm okay.
I just lost my balance.
I put you on the floor.
Oh. Thank you.
I thought you might
swallow your tongue or something.
I guess you must
really miss her, huh?
Hmm? Oh, this. No.
No, I just write in this.
This wasn't Emily's.
I guess there's
probably a story behind that.
There is,
but it's not very interesting.
Is... all of that
single spaced?
I'm afraid so, yeah.
That's a really big book
you're writing.
Wow. Hannah always swore
you were working, but--
- But?
- Nothing.
It's just-- It's been a while
since Arsonist 's Daughter...
and some people, some of the kids
in workshop thought...
- maybe you were--
- Washed up?
Blocked.
Well, I don't believe
in writer's block.
- No kidding.
- [Phone Ringing]
- You want me to get that?
- Please. Could you?
- Glasses.
- Thank you.
[James]
Hello?
- He didn't give his name.
- Who?
- The guy on the phone.
- Well, what did he want?
He wanted to know
if a Grady Tripp lived here...
and drove a dark maroon Ford
Galaxy with black interior.
- Well, what'd you tell him?
- Yes.
- Oh, good, James.
- Well, I just thought maybe--
[ Whistling ]
Good morning, boys.
- Good morning, James.
- Good morning.
[ Whispering ]
Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy.
I'm gonna take a shower.
[ Whistling]
- Prof. Tripp?
- Hmm?
How did I get here last night?
No one knows where you live,
James.
Hannah thought
you'd like my couch.
And before that,
did I do anything?
I mean,
did I do anything bad?
Well, James, you did shoot the head
of the English Department's dog...
and steal his most prized
piece of memorabilia.
[Grady]
A w, shit.
Do yourself a favor.
Hide.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
- Prof. Tripp?
- That's right.
I understand
you attended an event...
at Sara and Walter Gaskell's
house last night.
What's this all about, anyway?
Somebody pulled a B&E
on Dr. Gaskell's closet...
and the dog's missing.
I was just wondering if you saw
someone who seemed suspicious.
I wouldn't say there was
anybody particularly suspicious.
About this kid,
student of yours, Leer?
James Leer? You wouldn't
happen to know...
howl could get
in touch with him, would you?
I think I have his number
on campus.
That's all right.
We'll find him.
- Morning.
- You have a good one.
There you are.
I thought we were going to talk.
- W-Well, I was--
- [James]Prof. Tripp?
- [Phone Ringing]
- I heard what he said.
[ Terry]
What time's breakfast?
- What do we do now?
-Just one minute. Hello?
- Grady?
- Sara.
Thank God you're there.
You won't believe what's happened.
Could you hold on
just a minute, honey?
May I ask you something,
Prof. Tripp?
- Sure, James.
- Where exactly are we going?
There's a few things
I've got to do today.
- See my wife--
- The one that left you?
Yes, that's the one--
Ow! Oh, shit!
Son of a bitch!
Ooh, you're bleeding,
Prof. Tripp.
No shit, James.
So where exactly
do you live, James?
Apparently, not even
Hannah Green has a clue...
as to the location
of your apartment.
I got kicked out.
Well, not exactly kicked out.
I was asked to leave.
I guess there's
probably a story there.
There is, but it's
not very interesting.
So where are you staying?
At the--
The, uh, bus station.
It's not so bad.
I know the night janitor...
and there's a broken locker
I can put my stuff.
Jesus, James.
I mean, uh, for how long?
A couple of weeks.
That's why--
That's why I had the gun.
For protection.
- You should've told someone.
- Who?
I don't know. Me?
[Narrating]James' story
was the stuff of bad fiction...
and under other circumstances,
I might've wondered...
where the page ended with him
and real life began.
But I had other things
on my mind.
[Grady Narrating]
The Gaskell house looked deserted...
which figured since WordFest
was in full swing on campus.
What are we--
You oughta ease off on that stuff,
James. It's pretty acidic.
I can't help myself. I don't know
what's the matter with me.
James, you're hung over. What do
you think's the matter with you?
I'll be right back.
[Grady Narrating]
I knew I needed to have...
a heart-to-heart with Sara.
But until then,
I'd just make a little gesture.
- [Sara ]Feeling guilty?
- [ Yelps ]
I can't believe you
hung up on me, you dick.
Sara, I am so sorry
about this morning.
There was a lot going on.
Walter's a basket case. Someone
stole Marilyn's jacket last night.
And Poe's missing.
- Oh, I heard .
- You heard? Ho w?
I, uh-- A -year-old policeman
came by my house this morning.
Did you confess? Your fingerprints
were all over the bedroom.
Really?
That was fast.
I'm joking. Hello!
Oh, right, right, right.
Look, about last night...
there's something I have
to talk to you about.
Okay.
Uh-- I--
Well, l, um--
I want to be with you.
Gee, Grady,
that sounded so heartfelt.
No, really, Sara, I do.
No, I believe
you want to be with me...
- but it's just not good enough.
- I know that.
- I know what's at stake here.
- No, I don't think you do.
Besides, it doesn't matter.
I haven't decided yet.
- About the baby?
- That... and you.
I'm not gonna
draw you a map, Grady.
Times like these, you have to do
your own navigating.
Why is your car over there?
And who's that sitting in it?
-James Leer.
- What's he doing here?
I'm sort of helping him
through some issues.
Isn't he lucky?
- [Radio.: Soft Rock]
- She seemed to take it pretty well.
Yeah, yeah, well, the moment
didn't actually present itself.
You feel like
taking a ride, James?
Yes.
Humboldt County?
Maybe.
My father, he gets it
from his doctor.
- Glaucoma?
- Colon cancer.
Jesus, James. Wow.
It's a bit of a scandal.
My parents live in a small town.
It's a bit of a scandal.
My parents live in a small town.
- Where's that?
- Carvel.
- Carvel? Where's Carvel?
- Outside Scranton.
I've never heard of it.
It 's a hellhole. Three motels
and a mannequin factory.
My dad worked there
for years.
Your father worked
in mannequin factory?
Seitz Plastics.
It's where he met my mom.
She was a fry cook
in the cafeteria.
Before that,
she'd been a dancer.
What kind of dancer?
Whatever kind they
wanted her to be.
Didn't you say that your mom
went to Catholic school?
When we fall, we fall hard .
I really love
to watch them roll
No longer riding
on the merry-go-round
I thought you were the guy...
that didn't like to lose
control of his emotions.
Maybe I just needed
the moment to present itself.
I just had to let it go
- Mmm. Mmm!
- [Knocking On Door]
- Mmm. Mmm!
- [Knocking On Door]
[Grady Narrating]l had
come to the childhood home...
of my soon-to-be ex- wife
to set things straight...
to say something that would
end things on the right note...
to make Emily
feel better about it all...
or maybe to make me
feel better.
Truthfully, I wasn't
really sure why I was there.
Someone jumped on your car
with their butt.
How can you tell?
Well, you can see
the outline of a butt.
You want one?
They're incredible. Incredible.
Smoke the rest of that joint, James,
you can start chewing on the box.
- Hey, maybe she didn't come here.
- She came here.
We'll just wait.
In the meantime, I'm gonna need you
to shimmy right through there.
Relax, James. Emily hasn't used
her keys since she was years old.
Besides, your hips aren't
much bigger than hers.
It's not that.
Just reminded me
of what's in the car.
In the trunk?
Oh, right, right.
Let's try not to think
about that, okay?
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
Feels really good in here.
Yeah, I know.
It's the kind of house...
you like to wake up in
on Christmas morning.
I'll be right back.
Uh, make yourself at home.
I'm gonna make
a phone call.
Ah.
Mmm.
[Clock Ticking]
[Man On TV] There 's no such thing
as a good influence, Mr. Gray.
- All influence is immoral.
- [ Man ] Why?
Because the aim of life
is self-development...
to realize one's nature
perfectly.
That's what we 're here for.
A man should live out his life
fully and completely...
give form to every feeling,
reality to every dream.
[Grady Narrating]
Sitting there among her things...
I was reminded I didn't
really know Emily at all.
Even though we had lived
together as man and wife...
it was when I left the house,
when I was with Sara...
- [ Phone Ringing ]
- that I felt like I was home.
- [ Woman ] University.
- Chancellor, please.
[Man On TV] There 's only one way
to get rid of a temptation...
and that's to yield to it.
Resist it, and the soul
grows sick with longing...
for the things it has
forbidden to itself.
- Thank you.
- [ TV Continues]
[ TV Channel Changing]
[ "Theme From Route " ]
- Hello?
- Sara? Hi, it's Grady.
- Where are you?
- Kinship.
Listen, Sara, there's something
I gotta talk to you about.
You're in Kinship.
Yes, but that's not
why I'm calling you.
- You're with Emily.
- What?
No, no, no. There's no one here.
I'm just, uh--
Doing a little dusting?
- [ TV Channel Changes]
- [Judy Garland] Good mornin'
We've danced
the whole night through
Good mornin'
Good mornin' to you
- [ Humming ]
- Good mornin'
Good mornin '
It 's great to stay up late
Good mornin '
Sara, I am not here-- I'm not here
to, uh, to reconcile with Emily.
It doesn't matter.
How you choose to live
your own life is your business.
To say good night
So good mornin '
Good mornin '
Sunbeams will soon
smile through
Sara, you don 't understand.
Probably not, but I have
something to say.
And I want you
to listen carefully, Grady.
Yes.
I can't wait for you
because if I do...
I could end up
waiting forever, so...
I'm going to make
this decision on my own.
- Good-bye, Grady.
- [ Hangs Up ]
[Mickey Rooney]
Makin' a comeback.
Gee, it must be terrible
to be a has-been.
[Judy Garland] Don 't talk
like that. It scares me.
[Mickey Rooney] We gotta
work harder. Make a lotta dough.
[ Coughing ]
Hello. Hi.
-Ow.
-It's infected. I can clean it up.
But then you need to see someone
who knows what he's doing.
Ho w would you like
some hot chocolate...
and fresh cookies to go with it?
- That sounds nice. Thank you.
- You're welcome.
-[ Barks ]
-This is really good hot chocolate.
He 's one of your students,
this boy?
- [ Whining ]
- [Grady] Yeah, he's a good kid.
He's just a little messed up.
Oh, then I'm sure he'll be fine...
with the proper guidance.
[ Woman ]So, you're at
the university in Pittsburgh?
[James] I'm working in a steel
mill while I finish my first novel.
So where's Emily, Hank?
I don't know if I should
tell you that, Grady.
I don't wanna stalk her.
I just wanna--
I wanna tell her
that I'm sorry.
I'm not trying
to get her back.
Things haven't been
right with us for a while.
Well, all I know is Emily felt
you weren't there for her...
and she's felt that
for a long time, Grady.
Right now, she's, uh--
She's in Philadelphia
visiting Linda Ashby.
For Christ's sakes,
they went to Wellesley together.
Linda spent a week
at your house--
- Oh, Linda! Oh, oh.
- Yes.
I haven't been sleeping
a whole lot lately...
and I got my editor in town.
- I'm trying to finish my book.
- Ah, right.
The book.
I hope it's really good, Grady.
I'm having a really good time,
Prof. Tripp.
I'm really happy for you,
James.
Do me a favor.
Lay off my dope.
That stuff's
not for amateurs.
You're mad at me,
aren't you?
You're mad because
I shot your girlfriend's dog.
It wasn't her dog.
It was her husband's.
Who said anything
about a girlfriend?
Okay, James, I wish you hadn't
shot my girlfriend's dog...
Even though Poe and I were not
exactly what you call simpatico...
that's no reason he should've
taken two in the chest.
I don't know.
You just keep acting like
a goddamn spook all the time, James.
Well, I guess that explains why
all the kids in workshop hate me.
All the kids in workshop
hate you because right now...
you're ten times the writer
any one of them will ever be.
My stuff stinks.
You said so yourself last night
to your friend Crabtree.
I didn't mean it like that.
And what does it matter
what I think?
I mean, what does it matter
what anybody thinks?
Most people don't think,
James.
And if they do,
it's not about writing.
Books.
They don't mean anything.
Not to anybody.
Not anymore.
Arsonist's Daughter
meant something.
It meant something to me.
It 's the reason
I came to school here.
To be taught by you.
It's one of the reasons
I wanted to become a writer.
Well, for that, James,
if nothing else...
I'm really sorry.
- What are we doing?
- I'm gonna get you a nice meal...
a couple of cups of coffee,
then I'm taking you home.
- Take me now.
- What?
- I'm not hungry.
-James, you gotta eat.
I'll get something
out of the vending machine.
Vending machine?
What are you talking about?
At the bus station,
they have these cheese sandwiches.
They're pretty good.
It's better if you take me now.
That way,
Carl won't get my spot.
Carl?
-Never mind.
-James, go get us a table, will ya?
I'm not letting the most
talented writer in my class...
eat some week-old
cheese sandwich, okay?
I'm not letting him sleep
on some bench in a bus station.
So go on inside. I'll--
I'll be there in a minute.
[Grady]
C-A -R- V-E-L.
Yes, I'm sure, ma'am.
It's outside of Scranton.
You have no listing.
Okay, well--
Lady, as we speak, I am looking at
a resident of Carvel, Pennsylvania.
I'm sure he'd be
pretty interested to learn...
that the good people
at Bell Atlantic...
have misplaced
his entire hometown.
It's not like
I'm making this up as we go--
Never mind.
It's my mistake.
[Hangs Up Phone]
- You want a bite?
- No, thanks.
That's why you're having them,
your spells.
Spells? Jesus, James...
you make it sound like we're in
a Tennessee Williams play.
I don't get spells.
What would you
call them then?
I don't know. Um--
Episodes.
Uh-huh. I just worry about you,
that's all.
You just worry
about yourself, okay?
- Where you going?
- Nowhere.
You just stay here and eat.
I'll be right back.
Good evening.
- Prof. Tripp.
- Grady.
Fred Leer.
This is my wife Amanda.
Well, looks like I dashed
a wonderful evening here.
We were on our way to a benefit,
but as luck would have it...
the club was on the way, so we
were able to put in an appearance.
I just thought it would be
good for James...
to be with his family
this weekend.
Oh, well--
Of course we can understand that.
Right. Okay, I guess, uh,
I'll go get James.
Um--
I hope you don't find this forward ,
Amanda, but I wonder if I might ask.
Did you ever go
to Catholic school?
Excuse me?
I'm not going with them.
Things are a little weird
for me right now, James.
Things are a little weird
for me right now too.
I know, but I got my editor
in town, I gotta finish my book...
and there's some
extenuating circumstances--
I won't bother you.
I won't even talk to you.
Like it or not, those people
out there are your parents.
- They're not my parents.
- What?
They're my grandparents.
My parents are dead.
James, the man is obviously
your father. You look just like him.
There's a reason for that.
- Oh, get out of here.
- No. That's why she hates me.
That's why she makes me
sleep in the basement.
Crawl space. With the rats and
the cask of amontillado, right?
It's true!
They treat me like a freak!
Well, you are a freak, James.
All right? Welcome to the club.
You don't understand.
You don't know what it's like.
You're right, I don't.
Don't expect me to feel sorry
for you, all right?
Because I don't know
who you are.
Let me ask you
something, James.
In the past hours, have you
told me one thing that's true?
One thing that comes from you?
I just wanted to stay with you
for a little while, that's all.
I'm a teacher, James.
I'm not a Holiday lnn.
Thank you,
Prof. Tripp.
[Engine Starting]
[Engine Starting]
Old man
look at my life
I'm a lot like you were
Old man
look at my life
I'm a lot like you were
Hey!
Hey.
Old man
look at my life
Twenty-four
and there 's so much more
Live alone in a paradise
That makes me
think of two
Love lost
Such a cost
Give me things
that don 't get lost
Like a coin
that won 't get tossed
Like a coin
that won 't get tossed
Rolling home to you
- [Chattering]
- [Rock]
Crabtree. Jesus.
[Stereo.: lndistinct]
[ Chattering ]
Do you mind?
- [Door Opens]
- Grady!
- Hey.
- Uh, I know I shouldn't have...
but there it was just in the open,
and I couldn't resist.
No, no. I just can 't believe
that I left it out like this.
[ Terry]
Tripp, where are you?
Has Crabtree been in here?
Has he been snooping around?
I don't know. Maybe.
I don't think so.
Let's put this away.
[ Terry]
Tripp!
- Oh, shit.
- No. Um--
Don't go. I've been
waiting all night for you.
I'm really flattered, honey,
but this just isn't--
I'm sorry. Am I interrupting
a teacher-student conference?
No offense, Tripp. You're not
exactly the most attentive host.
Well, you've been taking good care
of that, huh, Crabs?
Sometimes
we have to improvise.
Where the hell
have you been anyway?
I took a drive
with James Leer.
He popped the chancellor's dog,
didn't he?
- What?
- Yeah.
First the police thought
he just ran away...
but this afternoon, Dr. Gaskell
found blood spots on the carpet.
Oh, Jesus.
Most everyone figured it was
an intruder, but right off...
Terry said it sounded like something
James would be messed up in.
Has anybody else come up
with this brilliant deduction?
Well, not yet, but they will.
It's just a matter of time.
Come on.
You don't even know James.
Who does?
I do. I do now.
I spent some time
with him...
and I read
something of his.
- His book? You read his book?
- Yes.
- Is it good?
- It's good. It's very, very good.
It's-- It's true.
I knew it.
So where is he now?
I sent him home
with his parents.
What? What?
His parents?
- Mm-hmm.
- Why? Why did you do that for?
Because under
the circumstances...
I thought it was
the best thing for him, but...
I'm beginning to think maybe
it was the best thing for me.
I just, uh--
I wasn't there for him.
Imagine that.
Hannah, don't you remember
where you took James that day?
Was it his aunt's?
- Yes.
- I told you. Sewickley Heights.
- What was the address?
- Mm-hmm.
I don't know. He had me
drop him on a corner.
Call the university.
I'm sure they know his address.
Little late to call Ad missions.
Is it a little late to call
the chancellor, hmm?
- I don't know. Maybe.
- Hmm?
God, you really have just made
an awful...
stinky little mess
of everything, haven't you?
Is that it?
Do not even think about it.
- Don't go near it.
- No, no, no.
Never without your permission,
but that is a lot of book.
Baxter Drive.
They're in the book.
- I'll drive.
- I'll drive.
"The Love Parade. "
I got a feeling about this.
I feel this kid in my bones.
Only in your bones.
I've had this feeling before.
Remember?
It's been a long time, but--
How bad is it for you,
Crabs?
It's pretty bad.
They've had enough of me.
They look at me like
I don't work there anymore.
I guess I just don't fit
the new corporate profile.
- Which is?
- Uh, gosh--
Competence.
- [ Laughing ]
- Down on the high way
ls a byway
-All alone
- [Grady] This is it.
[ Engine Turns Off ]
[Grady Narrating]
I had no business...
trudging up
to James Leer's parents' house...
in the middle of the night, not
when all that really mattered...
was trying to
make things right with Sara.
But we had decided
to rescue James Leer.
I wasn't quite sure from what...
because I was pretty much
convinced that everything...
that came out of James' mouth
was basically horseshit.
- Yikes.
- Must be two dozen windows.
How are we
supposed to find his?
I told you. They keep him
chained in the basement.
[Grady Narrating]But maybe
that didn't really matter.
Sometimes people
just need to be rescued.
[ Woman Singing, lndistinct]
[ Woman Singing, lndistinct]
Unrequited love's a bore
- Rodgers and Hart?
- Yeah.
-James Leer.
-James Leer.
- [Continues]
- [ Typing, Bell Dings]
Hey. What are you guys
doing here?
Shh. We're springin' you, Jimmy.
Put on some clothes.
Whoa. Well, l, uh-- I love
what you've done with the place.
When's Captain Nemo
moving in?
I cannot believe that you
made fu n of my bathrobe.
The candelabras
are my great grandmother's.
Please. Don't start with
the family history, all right?
- I'll leave you right here.
- I just want you to know...
I heard everything--
the parents and grandparents...
and the whole
Chinatown thing.
I believe you. That's why
we're here. Now go get dressed.
I mean, do you mind if I wear
this again, Prof. Tripp?
Wear whatever
you want to.
- He's so modest.
- He's so sensitive.
Tripp, why don't you
cut the kid some slack?
These are all overdue
library books, every one of them.
Then it looks like our Mr. Leer
is facing some monster late fees.
I just can 't believe
all the shit he spins.
Just once I'd like to know if the
little bastard 's telling the truth.
Hey.
Check this out.
" Finally, the door opened.
It was a shock to see him...
shuffling into the room
like an aging prizefighter...
Limping, beaten."
Does that sound like
anyone we know?
" But it was later
when the great man...
squinted into
the bitter glow of twilight-- "
"Twilight." This kid
definitely needs an editor.
"And muttered simply,
'lt means nothing.
All of it. Nothing. '
that the true shock came.
It was then that the boy
understood...
that his hero's true injuries
lay in a darker place.
His heart--"
His heart what?
" His heart, once capable of
inspiring others so completely...
could no longer inspire
so much as itself.
It beat now
only out of habit.
It beat now only--
because it could."
[James]
I'm ready.
- You all right, Prof. Tripp?
- He 's fine.
Can we go before Granny comes down
and boils your bones for breakfast?
That could be a problem.
She's been coming down here...
every half-hour or so
to check up on me...
and if I'm not here, she might
call the police or something.
Okay. Decoy. We'll put your pillows
and a teddy bear under the spread.
- She won't know the difference.
- Like in Against All Flags...
only they used a couple
of gigantic hams.
No, no, no, no.
I got a better idea.
Good night,
sweet prince.
Shadows are fallin'
And I've been here
all day
[ Clears Throat ]
- It 's too hot to sleep
- [ Terry] Let 's go upstairs.
- Bad vibes down here.
- Time is runnin' away
Things must've picked up
after we left, huh, Grady?
Feel like my soul
has turned into steel
[Can Rattling]
I've still got the scars
that the sun didn't heal
There 's not even
room enough
To be anywhere
[ Laughing ]
- It 's not dark yet
- Good night, bro.
But it 's gettin' there
[Dialing Phone]
[Phone Ringing]
[Ringing Continues]
[Sara On Machine] You've reached
the home of Sara and Walter Gaskell.
Neither Walter or I
can take your--
- Hello.
- Walter?
Grady? Oh, Christ, Grady,
do you know what time it is?
Yeah. I got, uh, : .
I don't think
that's right, though.
It's : Grady.
Well, this is important,
Walter.
Oh?
[ Sighs ]
l, um-- I--
What is it, Grady?
I'm in love with your wife.
Excuse me?
Sara. I'm in love with her.
Are you drinking,
Prof. Tripp, right now?
No.
Nevertheless, I'd like to see you
in my office Monday morning.
[ Hangs Up ]
Oh, boy.
- Sara, what--
- I tried to call, but...
it seems there's
something wrong...
with your phone.
It appears one of our students
is missing...
and his parents
found a dead dog in his bed.
It's my fault. I'm sorry.
I've been trying to tell you--
I'm not feeling very happy
with you right now.
And more importantly,
Walter isn't very happy.
He's gotten the police involved.
They seem to think James Leer is
somehow responsible for all this.
You wouldn't happen to know
where James Leer is, would you?
He's inside.
And Marilyn's jacket?
Oh, it's in my car.
- Somebody stole my car.
- Oh, man!
Honestly!
Somebody stole my car!
I parked it right there
last night!
- Are you sure it was parked there?
- Of course I'm sure! It was--
Oh, Christ. Here comes
the puberty police now.
Okay, okay, I'll deal with this.
You go dig up James.
Is he awake?
There's a police officer on
the porch, and he's not going away.
- That same guy?
- Same one.
No offense, Prof. Tripp,
but you look sort of crappy.
He's right. I mean,
you do look horrible.
It's the chancellor.
- We're fine. We're just fine.
- [James]Fine, right.
- Fit as a fuckin' fiddle.
-James...
come on.
Uh, James,
this book of yours?
It's... not bad.
It's not bad at all.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
[ Whispering ]
I'm wanna publish this.
I think with the proper
editorial guidance...
this could be brilliant.
Aw, that's great.
That's great.
Between Officer Pupcik and you,
he can be the next Jean Genet.
Been a long time since somebody
wrote a really good book in jail.
Don't you worry, James.
We 're gonna figure something out.
I'm not worried. You're
not worried, are you, Prof. Tripp?
I'm a little worried, James.
Don't be.
I don't care if they expel me.
I probably should be expelled.
Well, let's hope
it doesn't come to that.
Prof. Tripp.
- Yes, James?
- Even if I end up going to jail...
you're still the best teacher
I ever had.
[Sara ] I wonder if this is
what the university has in mind...
when it promises
a liberal education.
Walter wouldn't really
press charges, would he?
We'll know soon enough.
In a couple of hours...
he's gonna sit down with
the police and James' parents...
and he was a wee bit prickly
this morning.
You didn't happen to call
our house last night, did you?
I think I might have, yes.
What do you think
you might have said?
I think I might have said
I was in love with you.
He told you.
- He told me.
- And what did you say?
I said it didn't
sound like you.
[Engine Starting]
[ Terry] Hey, Tripp!
[ Whistling]
So, what do we do now?
Find the jacket!
Exactly how do we do that?
I've got an idea
where it is.
We could ask Hannah
if we could borrow her car.
Sure. Keys are on the desk,
next to your book.
I didn't finish it.
Fell asleep.
Oh, it's that good, huh?
It's not that. It's just--
It's just... what?
Grady, you know how in class...
how you're always telling us
that writers make choices?
Yeah.
And even though your book
is really beautiful...
I mean, amazingly
beautiful, it's--
It 's, at times, it 's, uh--
Very detailed. Uh--
You know, with the genealogies
of everyone's horses...
and the dental record s
and so on and--
And I could be wrong, but it just,
it sort of reads in places like--
You didn't really
make any choices.
At all.
And I was just wondering if
it might not be different if--
if when you wrote,
you weren't always...
under the influence.
[ Clears Throat ]
Well--
Well, uh, thank you
for the thought.
But shocking
as it may sound...
I am not the first writer
to sip a little weed.
Furthermore, it might
surprise you to know...
that one book I wrote as you say
"under the influence"...
just happened to win a little
something called the PE N Award ...
which, by the way,
I accepted under the influence.
[ Chuckles ]
Hey, let me
help you with that.
- Don't touch it.
- Okay. I'll drive.
Let me get this straight.
Jerry Nathan owes you money...
so as collateral,
he gives you his car.
Only I'm beginning to think
that the car...
- [ Honking Horn ]
- wasn't exactly Jerry's to give.
Ah, so whose car was it?
- My guess? Vernon Hard apple.
- The hood jumper?
He said a few things that lead me
to believe that the car was his.
- Such as?
- "That's my car, motherfucker. "
All right, so we find Vernon,
we find the car.
- We find the car--
- We find the jacket.
[ Train Whistle Blowing ]
Wow. Christ!
How'd you know, Tripp?
Oh, I don't know.
- Let's just call it a hunch.
- I call it genius.
Good to know I'm still
talented at something.
Careful.
Keep that motor running.
I know you.
Double Dickel
on the rocks.
Oola.
I never forget a drink.
I never forget an Oola.
Forget me?
-Vernon?
-Go inside, cupcake. He's got a gun.
- Who's got a gun?
- You've got a gun! Drop it!
- Uh-oh.
- Vernon, relax.
- Why is he calling you Vernon?
- Why is he sitting in my car?
He's crazy, that's why!
He probably calls everybody Vernon.
- Now drop that gun!
- Oh, dear.
It's a souvenir. They don't
even have caps for this thing.
- It's a souvenir.
- Bullshit!
I know a gun when I see one,
and that's a gun!
- No! No, really--
- [ Gunshot ]
- [ Oola Screaming ]
- [ Terry] Oh, God! Oh!
Gimme that gun!
Are you crazy?
Can't you see the condition
my girl's in? Get out! Get out!
- Hey! Stop!
- [ Honking Horn ]
- [Honking Continues]
- Cupcake, you okay?
- [ Engine Starting ]
- Tripp, run!
[ Vernon ]
Who in the hell is that?
- Oh, shit!
- Vernon, don 't-- No! Don 't shoot!
- Oh, no! Don't!
- Don't shoot!
Come on, Tripp!
Jump in! Run!
- He's a crazy man.
- [Horn Honking]
[ Honking Continues ]
- [ Horn Honking ]
- [ Tires Screeching ]
Oh, my God.
[Grady]
I take it back.
Shoot him.
Naturally, you have copies.
I have an alternate version
of the first chapter.
You'll be all right, then.
Look at--
Look at Carlyle
when he lost his luggage.
- That was Macaulay.
- Oh.
Well, what about Hemingway
when Hadley lost all those stories?
He was never able
to reproduce them.
Look, Tripp, I don't wanna
depreciate the loss here...
but maybe, you know,
in a sense, it's for the best.
You suggesting
it 's some kind of sign?
- In a sense.
- In my experience...
signs are usually
a little more subtle.
Let me get this straight. All that
paper that blew away back there...
that was the only copy?
I'm afraid so, yes.
And you, you're saying
that it's some kind of a sign?
Man, what in the fuck
the matter with you?
Don't.
All I'm saying is that
sometimes, subconsciously...
a person will put themselves
in a situation...
perhaps even create
that situation...
in order to have an arena in which
to work out an unresolved issue.
It's a covert way, if you will,
of addressing a problem.
I'll tell you
the problem.
You behind the wheel,
there's your problem.
Did you or did you not
have a gun to his head?
- Watch the road, please.
- He was trying to steal my car.
Did you or did you not
have a gun to his head?
- [ Arguing ]
- All right! All right!
That's enough!
That is enough!
What is done is done! I don't
wanna hear about it anymore, okay?
So what was it about,
your book?
What was the story?
I don't know.
What he means is...
it's difficult to distill
the essence of a book sometimes...
because it lives in the mind.
[ Vernon ]But you got to know
what it was about, right?
If you didn't know what it
was about, why were you writing it?
I couldn't stop.
[Bell Chiming]
[ Tires Screeching ]
Vernon, can I
ask you a question?
Boy or girl?
[ Giggles ]
As long as it looks like her...
- I really don't care.
- You--
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
- Thanks for the ride, Vernon.
-Anytime.
-And another thing.
- Yeah?
- Stop calling me Vernon.
- Okay.
- [ Whispering ] Jacket, Tripp.
- What?
We need the jacket.
Oh, right.
Oola, about that jacket--
Yeah.
It used to belong
to Marilyn Monroe.
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
She had small shoulders...
just like you.
A lot of people
don 't know that.
Thank you.
Man, that book of yours
must have been one nutty ride.
Come on, baby. Let's go.
Would you mind explaining to me
what you just did?
Came to my senses.
Oh. Congratulations. Meanwhile,
what's James supposed to do?
Pray that Walter Gaskell
comes to his?
Walter Gaskell doesn't wanna
send James Leer to jail.
He's up in his office
right now.
He's talking to his parents,
local police...
trying to find a solution.
Tripp, the least
they're gonna do is expel him.
[ Sighs ]
It doesn't matter.
That's very enlightening,
Professor.
It's comforting to know
that America's children...
have you for a teacher.
Nobody teaches
a writer anything.
You tell'em what you know.
You tell'em to find their voice
and stay with it.
You tell the ones
that have it to keep at it.
You tell the ones that don't
have it to keep at it too...
because that's the only way they're
gonna get to where they're going.
Of course, it does help
if you know where you wanna go.
Helping my students
figure that out...
that and Sara...
that's what's made
these last years worthwhile.
As for James, well,
he doesn't really need me anymore.
He's got you.
Me? What can I do?
Oh, I don't know, Crabs.
Improvise.
You're pretty good at that.
Tripp.
I'm sorry.
Improvise.
[Grady Narrating]As for me,
I was through improvising.
I knew what I had to do.
I had to find Sara.
I had to convince her
that she was my choice...
that, in fact, she had been
from the very beginning.
[Applause]
And now, as those of you who've been
with us in previous years know...
we have a tradition of sorts
here at WordFest.
I'm speaking, of course,
of the Plums...
those fortunate local writers...
who have successfully
placed their manuscripts...
with visiting publishers'
representatives.
This weekend, Susan Lowery
of North Braddock...
found a publisher
for her children 's book...
The Loneliest Prawn.
- Stand up, Susan.
- [ Applause ]
No w, this next one is, I think,
very exciting to announce...
because it concerns
a student here at the university.
Our own James Leer...
sophomore
in English Literature...
has found a publisher
for his first novel...
which I believe is called...
"The Lovely Parade."
[Applause]
- Love Parade.
- Love Parade.
-James?
- Stand up. Go on.
He 's a real alien probe,
if you know what I mean.
Take a bow, James!
[Cheering, Whistling]
Wonder boy.
And finally, and perhaps
not least importantly...
Terry Crabtree of Bartizan has also
decided to publish my own book...
a critical exploration of
the union of Joe DiMaggio...
and Marilyn Monroe...
and its function
in American mythopoetics...
which, tentatively,
I have entitled...
The Last American Marriage.
So, until next year,
thank you, everyone.
Grady, I took another look...
at The Arsonist's Daughter
the other night.
That description of the bald
cypress left me breathless.
Thanks, Q.
I appreciate that.
[Door Closes]
[Door Closes]
Sara !
[Door Opens]
[Footsteps Approaching]
[ Humming ]
Yo, Traxler.
[ Whistles ]
Hey, Prof. Tripp.
- You get high, Sam?
- Only when I'm workin'.
Holy shit.
Are you serious?
Careful there,
Prof. Tripp.
Whoa.
[Grady Narrating]
I didn't fall.
Not then, not ever again.
Once the Monongahela River
swallowed my never-ending opus...
there were no more spells.
James Leer didn't
get expelled or go to jail...
thanks to Crabtree 's
wheeling and dealing.
But he quit anyway,
went to New York...
to rework his novel
for publication.
Hannah Green has decided to take
a position as a junior editor...
when she graduates.
And Crabtree, well, Crabtree 's
gone right on being Crabtree.
As for me,
I lost everything.:
my wife, my book, my job...
everything that I thought
was important.
But I finally knew
where I wanted to go.
[Car Approaching]
[ Woman Vocalizing]
And now I had someone
to help me get there.
A worried man
with a worried mind
No one in front of me
and nothin' behind
There 's a woman on my left
and she's
Drinkin' champagne
Got white skin
Got assassin 's eyes
I'm lookin ' up into
the sapphire-tinted skies
I'm well-dressed
Waitin' on the last train
Standin' on the gallows
with my head in a noose
Any minute now
I'm expecting all hell
To break loose
People are crazy
and times are strange
I'm locked in tight
I'm out of range
I used to care, but
Things have changed
This place ain't doing me
any good
I'm in the wrong town
I should be in Hollywood
Just for a second there, I
thought I saw something move
Gonna take dancing lessons
Do the jitterbug rag
Ain't no shortcuts
Gonna dress in drag
Only a fool in here would think
he's got anything to prove
Lot of water
under the bridge
Lot of other stuff too
Don 't get up, gentlemen
I'm only
Passin' through
People are crazy
and times are strange
I'm locked in tight
I'm out of range
I used to care, but
Things have changed
I've been walkin'
miles of bad road
lf the Bible is right
the world will explode
I've been trying to get
as far away from myself
As I can
Some things are
too hot to touch
The human mind
can only stand so much
You can 't win
With a losing hand
Feel like falling in love
With the first woman I meet
Putting her
in a wheel barrow
And wheeling her
down the street
People are crazy
and times are strange
I'm locked in tight
I'm out of range
I used to care, but
Things have changed
I hurt easy
I just don 't show it
You can hurt someone
and not even know it
The next seconds
could be like an eternity
Gonna get lowdown
Gonna fly high
All the truth in the world
adds up to one big lie
I'm in love with a woman
who don 't even appeal to me
Mr. Jinx and Miss Lucy
they jumped in the lake
I'm not that eager
to make a mistake
People are crazy
and times are strange
I'm locked in tight
I'm out of range
I used to care, but
Things have changed