Voila! Finally, the Wonderland
script is here for all you quotes spouting fans of the Michael Winterbottom
movie with Shirley Henderson and Molly Parker. This script is a transcript that was painstakingly
transcribed using the screenplay and/or viewings of Wonderland. I know, I know, I still need to get the cast names in there and I'll be eternally
tweaking it, so if you have any corrections, feel free to
drop me a line. You won't
hurt my feelings. Honest.
Hello My name's Nadia
I'm 27. Uh, I like music
All sorts of music
Um, sport,
dancing, walking
I'm 5’9",
dark hair, blue eyes
I like to think of meself as
independent, honest, self-aware
And I'd like to meet someone
looking for friendship
or, well, yeah, um,
and possible romance
I thought you'd gone
I was a bit nervous
coming to meet you
Yeah, yeah, it's--
I think it's really hard
Yeah, it's just in the past, things
haven't gone quite so well, so--
So, you've done this
a lot, then ?
Not a lot, no
Listen Sorry I should have
said this earlier,
and I hope you're not offended,
but I think you look great
Oh, thank you
Really
Did you pick the blue
'cause of your eyes ?
What ?
Did you pick the blue
'cause of your eyes ?
No,just 'cause it was cheap, really
Oh, really ?
What's in this ?
Okay, you've got, um, orange
It's mainly orange juice, and
the red color is from the grenadine,
and then it's got, you know,
the little thing in it
What ?
The kick
The little thing with,
you know, for the kick
What's that ?
It's a secret Secret ingredient
What do you think
it's gonna be, Molly ?
Oh, I dunno
Don't care really I just want it out
Jack's keeping his fingers
crossed for a boy
Aren't you,Jack ?
I've got all this stuff for you
from Mandy at work
Oh, fantastic I'm sure you'll like
some of it, Molly
- Sweet Jack, look Look,
darling Oh, it's lovely
- What is it ?
It's like a little Chinese thing
It's bright red It's gorgeous
Yeah Bed Jack, in your bloody bed now
Why?
You've got school in the morning God's sake
He's been a right pain in the bum tonight
Has he ?
- Yeah
Good night Till morning
- He's at that age
Yeah ?
I got new cabinets in
Did you ?
Yeah, they look really good
What color?
They're in-- They're in wood
Shiny wood, is it ?
Sort of It's like a pine
I gotta go, love
Yeah, absolutely
Just, um--
I'll see you tomorrow
about .. ?
Lots of love See you tomorrow
- Bye
- Lots of love
Hi
Hello
How are we doing ?
Good Yeah
Yeah ?
Is Debbie all right ?
Yeah, same
Pigs of a Feather ?
Hey, hey
Oh Oh !
"A nightmare
in black and white"
"Film is a surreal mixture of
horror, fantasy and black comedy"
"Repulsive imagery"
Great
It sounds disgusting
It's not for the baby, It's for me
Have we heard anything yet ?
Yeah
Talks all the time
Feel him moving today
It's gonna be amazing
It's gonna be amazing
Do you gamble a lot, then ?
No, of course not
Do you do the lottery ?
Uh, well--
Ah, you do,
don't you ?
Ah, see
A little bit, yeah
Ah, there you go
Same thing, isn't it ?
I suppose so
So, what do you do
at the weekends ?
Oh, well, sometime--
Quite often I've gotta work
Right
I think I'd better go
to the toilet again
Again ?
Yeah, you know
Okay
Excuse me
Sorry
Excuse me
Hello, Nadia
My name's Theodore
I thought your message was very nice
You've got a lovely voice
I'm and '
on the nose
And I'm a professional
I'm a doctor
More specifically,
I'm a neuro-psychiatrist,
and I find it fascinating
Hello, Nadia
This is Dan
I live in Brixton
and I'm--
My name's Tim
Hello, I'm George
I live in North London
I like reading,
keeping fit, travel--
Um, a bit about myself
Um, my name's Pat
I'm Australian,
and I'm
I'm looking for someone
who'll, uh, put the buzz
back into my bumblebee life
Hello, love
Dad, I--
What, have you
been buzzing ?
Yeah, it was me
Your boiler I thought
we arranged for me to come take a look
Did we ?
What, today ?
That's right
It's just that
I'm off to work
How is everything ?
Fine, yeah Great
And you ?
Oh, I'm fine, fine
Yeah ?
You know,
keeping busy
Can I give you a lift ?
Oh, no
It's all right, I'll get the tube
It's quicker
Yeah ?
I love you, okay ?
Bye, love
Penny for the guy
Penny for the guy?
Penny for the guy ?
All right
Penny for the guy ?
Penny for the guy ?
Penny for the guy ?
Here you go, darling
Thanks
Careful
Oh, thanks
Shit
What ?
I'm late Shit
Are you okay?
Yeah
How are you feelin' ?
Great
Yeah ?
Drink your tea
I'm late, Moll
Eddie !
Phone me
Yeah
You've gotta remember this is a
decision you'll be making once,
maybe twice in your life, so it's
quite an important decision
We don't want to rush you
into anything
The surface you want is
quite important, and, uh--
What's she called ?
Megan Megan Hey
Have you got kids
yourself?
Um, no, not yet, no
Um, imminent, though
Take this with you
That's basically this
If you look at
the printout
We can print out one of
these for you as well
I mean--
Oh, right
Do you wanna come
to Caesar's next week ?
To Caesar's ?
Yeah, next week
Thursday night, It's ladies' night
No
Thursday night
It's only three quid,
Nadia
I don't wanna go
Why not ?
It's quite good fun
I don't wanna go
You might get a shag
at the end of the night
What ? I can't hear you
I'm going to Top Shop
I wanna get
a white lace top
for tonight
You're gonna get a what ?
A lacy one ?
Yeah, a white lacy one
Really tight
Size six
Show-off
No, I'm not
Oh, God
Excuse me
Hello ?
Hello
Is that Nadia ?
Yeah Who's this ?
Hi This is Tim
You left a message
on my machine
Oh, right, yeah
The Lonely Hearts thing
Thought I could meet with you
I could meet you
at : yeah ?
Excuse me
Can I get my bill,
please ?
Listen, can I--
I'll see you then
I'll see you then
Got to get back to work
That'll be great
Shall we say around : ?
- Yeah, : then
All right
- Bye
What are you
smiling about, then ?
Nothing It's none
of your business
Molly's a bit miffed
you haven't phoned her
Been busy, haven't I ?
What you been doing, then ?
What ?
Flamenco classes
What ?
Sounds like fun
Yeah, it is
You should try it
Thank you very much
She's probably in labor
right now, as we speak
If she has it today, it'll have
the same birthday as Darren
You haven't heard from him,
have you, Nadia ?
No You ?
No, of course not
Don't forget you'll baby-sit
tonight, right ?
All right, then
See you later, darling
Yeah, bye
Yeah, take it easy
Happy birthday
to you
Happy birthday
dear Darren
Hey
Good morning
Morning
Yeah, a reservation under
the name of Sykes for two nights
Two nights
Thanks
"M and M"
What does that mean ?
Mr and Mrs ?
Mr and Mrs
Is it Mr and Mrs ?
Yeah
Yeah, that's fine
Ow !
Don't crush me !
Ow !
Fucking bastard !
Aah !
It's in my eye
You got it in my eye
It's in my eye
It's in my eye
It's in my eye
I'm blinded by champagne
I'm blinded Mmm
I can't even
open my eyes
Oh, thank you
Thank you
Thank you
I'm having
a very happy birthday
Yeah ?
Yeah
Hi, Mum
Come in
Hi
It's got cold, hasn't it ?
Yeah
Are you ready to see
my new kitchen ?
I am
Ta-da !
Oh
Is it amazing ?
Yeah
I love it
I'm so happy
Very fancy
It's just like
in the ads, isn't it ?
Ooh
It's not finished
There's still a bit of--
Yeah Mmm
Yeah, it's very nice
Yeah
You want a cup of coffee ?
Yeah, please
If it's not
too much trouble
How's Dad ?
Oh, same as ever
Sits around the house
all day long moping
Hello ? Hiya
Hello Hiya
How are you ?
All right
How are you ?
Mum, it's Eddie
Oh
Who's that ?
Mum
She just got here
Your mum ?
Just gonna have a cup of coffee
Right
Listen, I was thinking, um,
how about Alice for a girl ?
Alice ?
Yeah, yeah, like, um,
Alice in Wonderland?
I like Sadie
Like in "Sexy Sadie"
Sadie ? Right
Yeah
Where are you ?
You sound funny
Um,
Look
Molly, uh,
What ?
I've gotta go
All right
I'll speak to you later, okay ?
Yeah, all right
Bye
Right Bye
Fuck
Nadia ?
Yeah
How you doing ? Tim
You wanna go in ?
Yeah
I'm-- I'm sorry
I've never done this before
What kind of photographer
are you ?
Nude portraits
Really ?
No
No Take a guess
Thought you were serious
Yeah
Um, God, I dunno
Um--
Sports photographer ?
No
Uh
I dunno
I'm-- I'm
an advertising
photographer
We do fruit, cheese and,
you know, yogurts and stuff
Oh
It's highly exciting
Yeah
Have you done
much of this, then ?
Um, yeah, I mean,
one day, I got this--
this, um,
this girl ringing me up telling me
she was a rock star
No
Yeah, and she was,
like, real stoned
She was, like,
"Hi, I'm with this band"
She started telling me about
her life as a rock star
and how interesting
it is and, you know,
if I wanted to be with her,
I'd have to kind of make
compensation 'cause she'd be
on tour a lot, you know
Were-- Were you
really adopted ?
Yeah
Oh, 'cause I-I used to pretend
I was an orphan
I'd, you know, pretend our house
was the orphanage,
and, um, my sisters
and my little brother,
they were orphans
from other families
I really wanted
to believe it, yeah
Yeah, I know,
it's strange
Yeah
Yeah Cheers
Cheers
I'll see you tomorrow ?
Yeah, all right
Okay, bye
See you
Bye, then
Yeah
Here for a copy
of the Big Issue
Big Issue
Here for a copy
of the Big Issue
Hello, Eileen
Hello
You're looking smart
Where have you been ?
Just to my daughter, Molly
Oh, God !
Cut it out, you lot
I hate those fucking things
You all right ?
Yeah
Our front door
needs fixing
I'm getting 'round
to it
That's the Sony CD
Right What are you
asking for this ?
That's plus VAT
Plus VAT
Which works out to
Can I have a look ?
See you tomorrow,
Harvey
All right
See you later, mate
Strong cappuccino,
one and a half, take it away
Hello Can I help you ?
Is it eat in ?
Take away ?
You give me the pound, and
I'll give you the change
Yeah ? Yeah
You give me a pound, and
I give you pence change
Salt beef and,
uh, cappuccino
All right
That's three pound,
please
Thank you
All right, first of all, don't get--
don't get angry with me
This is not
gonna look good
This might not
look good at first
And I know this is not
the best of time-- No
We're both responsible
adults, right ?
I care about this baby
we're having
Yeah
I care about this baby
we're having
And I realize that there are
certain financial advantages
in having a job
I'm aware of that
I am aware of that
Think of the drawbacks of holding
onto a job that you hate
Think of what
that could do to a man
Think of what I could
and would become--
short-tempered father
I turn to drink
I blame you
Eventually,
I even take a lover
And then one day, I just snap
Finally, just snap
I buy a gun
I'll lock myself into the house
with you and the kids
Police surround us, begging me to be
reasonable, but--
No
No, it's too late
It's too late
Another statistic
A news item
A news item
in The News of the World
Whoo !
Yea !
Things can be
even more tricky for a male
if his mate is well armed
The female tarantula
has fearsome poison fangs
Aren't you gonna
do something ?
What do you
want me to do ?
Doesn't it bother you ?
Of course it bothers you, but you're
too pathetic to do anything about it
Pathetic
Only now dare he reach
forward with his palps
What do you mean,
"pathetic"?
Who's pathetic ?
You're the one
who's fucking pathetic !
Male spiders are by
no means always so skillful
These few legs are all that remains of
a male nephila spider who failed
But another male is on the same web
now preparing to chance his luck
And his task is indeed formidable,
for his mate is gigantic--
six inches across and several
hundred times his weight
She's virtually blind, and
she relies on vibrations of her web
to tell her what's going on
Hi
You all right ?
Can't sleep
Why not ?
What's wrong ?
Dunno
Just can't sleep
Well, you shouldn't be reading
What is it ?
A new game
Gonna ask Dad to buy it
for my birthday
What's this
girl's name again ?
Lara Croft
Do you like her, then ?
She's all right
Yeah ?
Not very good, are you ?
No Well, I've got
to practice, haven't I ?
Get some rest
What are you doing tomorrow ?
- Going to the football match
with my dad
- That'll be nice
You'll need all the rest
you can get, then
Put your head down
Give us a kiss, darling
'Night
See you in the morning
Yeah Do you want
this world left on ?
Yeah
All right
Sleep tight, darling
Good night
Night-night
You
Are my angel
Oh
What ?
Iron ?
There
What are you doing ?
You should get out more
Franklyn, I wish
you'd get a girlfriend
Thank you
You know,
go out dancing
What time is it ?
It's nearly half :
Where have you been ?
I had to work late
I'm sorry
I should have rang you
Hey
H'm
You asleep ?
Mm-h'm
You're fucking great !
Oh, no
Don't put your shirt on, darling, no
You want more ?
You're a bad girl,
you know that ?
You've done this
before, darling
I've done it
I've done this before, yeah
I need a drink
Do you want a drink ?
Yeah I dunno
where it is
Are you gonna dance for me now ?
I'm a good dancer
Yeah, of course, you're a good dancer
Dance
Don't leave
Come and dance with me
Come and dance with me, then
You're fucking tickling me
You're terrible
Bad
Do you like me hair ?
Of course I like
your hair
Yeah, I did that
You're a hairdresser
You should--
H'm, a bit scruffy,
though, isn't it ?
Why'd you
bring me here ?
This is where I work
I take it that's where you work,
unless you broke in
I mean, most people have houses,
don't they ?
They go to what is a bed,
rather than some--
I've got a big bed
Have you got a big bed ?
Why don't you show me your big bed ?
No I've got
a little boy
You've got
a little boy ?
Yeah
How old's
your little boy ?
He's fucking little,
isn't he ?
He's fucking little
How little ?
At primary school,
my little boy
Yeah ?
Mm
How old are you ?
Twenty-nine
You're twenty-nine ?
Gimme a cup of coffee
You spill
your coffee on me,
you die You die
Listen to him
It's been going on like that all night
I haven't had any sleep
I didn't hear anything
That's 'cause
you don't wanna hear
It's been howling and barking
the whole fucking night
I haven't had any sleep
If Molly phones,
you're to tell me--
I know Don't worry
You'll be the first to know
I'll leave the shopping list
on the table
Hello
Sorry I can't answer
the phone at the moment,
but if you'd like to leave a
message for Nadia,
please speak
after the beep
Thank you
Dad
Here Hold them, would you ?
I like your hair
Who does your hair ?
Your mum ?
Yeah
It's lovely, isn't it ?
Yeah
Mom, Dad's here
Yeah
Hi, honey
Got your clean pants, Jack ?
Yeah
Hurry up, then
All right, Deb ?
Yeah
Busy, busy
As usual
What are you
after, then ?
That's not nice, is it ?
I'm not after nothing
Come on, Dad
Don't forget your antibiotics, Jack
Make sure he takes them
He's got a cold
Yeah, antibiotics
Just a gift
You know what I mean ?
I don't want them
They're horrible
They're really nice
I like pink flowers
Do you ?
Yeah
What is it ?
Lend us some money
No
Go on
Just a few bob
Fuck off, Dan
I can't afford it
Just till Monday ?
Bloody hell
Don't bring him back
later than : all right ?
Yeah
We're going to the bonfire Remember ?
Remember that
Give us a kiss
good-bye, then
Good-bye, then
Fuck off
It's from me
Look after him, Dan
Yeah Bye
Whatever you say,
darling
Bye
See you later
Bloody mess
Oh, we're going to
the match
We're gonna have
a good time
Remember that woman sat next to us
at the Wolves game ?
Yeah
Come on, Palace !
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
she was great, eh ?
Down the wing
Close 'em down, Palace
Hello, darling
Hiya
Hi, Jackie
All right, Molly?
Come for--
You're cold
Yeah,
it's really cold
Is that nice ?
I'm smudging all your make-up, Molly
What ?
I'm smudging your make-up
Oh, that's all right
Eddie won't be able
to resist you tonight,
darling
I might want him
to resist me
Why ?
Oh, I don't feel sexy at all
Just feel fat
and ugly
When's the last time
you had sex, then ?
Dunno
Couple of months
Couple of months ?
For God's sake, Molly
Darling, I'm pregnant
Did you feel sexy
when you were pregnant ?
Yeah, really sexy
Did you ?
I loved it
I loved having big tits
Did you do it right up till the end?
Yeah
Felt really gorgeous
all the time
Did you have weird dreams
when you were pregnant ?
No
I've been having the weirdest dreams,
like nightmares almost
Nightmares ?
Yeah, I had this really
weird one last night
I was-- Well, I dreamt that I was
at home, and I went into labor
And so, we're gonna go
to the hospital,
but we didn't actually go to
the hospital, we went to a theater
Do you mean a stage ?
Yeah, like where they
do plays and things
Yeah
I thought it was a bit
weird but all right
And we went in onto the stage
and there was a bed on the stage,
and the midwife
was there and everything
Eddie was on the bed,
was he ?
Eddie-- I dunno
I can't remember
if he was there then
Was he naked ?
Shut up
But I looked out
into the audience,
and it was all my kids out there from
my class from last year, yeah
It was--
It was weird, but--
Anyway, and then I gave birth
to a fish, right on the stage
Eh ?
I know
Isn't that weird ?
Everybody in the dream
thought it was really strange
It's fucking weird,
Molly
But I still loved it
Jackie ?
What's that, mate ?
Molly said she had sex
with a fish last night
That is not
what I said
Jackie, Jackie, that's not what I said
She's lying
No, I had a dream that
I gave birth to a fish
Well, that ain't normal, is it ?
I know, it's weird
It's not normal at all
It's fucking weird
It's gotta mean something,
though, isn't it ?
Yeah
It means she's a horny bugger
Shut up
Talked to Nadia lately ?
Yeah She was asking about you Yeah
Was she ?
I think she's jealous of me
Jealous of what, Molly ?
I dunno, the baby
Not everyone wants to have kids
I know that, but I mean
I think she--
Sit still
I'm not moving
Seven and eight, seventy-eight
Nine-
Blind ninety
Five and seven
Fifty-seven
Eight and four
Eighty-four
Five-
Blind fifty
Four-
Blind forty
Bingo!
On
up at the back there
All right, let's go straight
to our next--
Full house
The next number is eight-
Blind eighty
Two and four
Twenty-four
Four and six
Forty-six
Eight and five
Eighty-five
Two and one
Twenty-one
One-
Number ten
Three and one
Thirty-one
One and two
Twelve
Go on !
Play it
Go on, Lombardo !
There, you're lovely
Stop touching it, Molly
All right,
that's enough ! God
Oh, it's so pretty
Do you like it,Jackie ?
It looks really nice, yeah
Yeah
Yeah ?
Do you like
the back, darling ?
Yeah, it's different
Do you like it, Kay ?
Yeah,
it's really lovely
Yeah
Be easier to manage for you, love
Eddie will like it
It's a bit tight
I thought it was gonna be a bigger--
No, it'll drop
Will it ?
Drop in a couple days
Could I use your phone ?
Yeah I'll get that stuff from
Mandy for you
Great
Got some stuff
to show you, Jackie
Oh, let's have a look
Baby clothes
Mandy brought it in
for Molly
Some of it's all right
Some of it's a bit funny looking
What do you think
of this one ?
Sweet, isn't it ?
Ultimate Kitchens
Good afternoon
Hi Can I speak to Eddie, please ?
Eddie ?
Eddie doesn't
work here any more
Can I put you through
to someone else ?
What ?
Can I put you through
to someone else ?
Eddie's not here any more
There's a lovely little
pink thing in here as well
That's all right
No, he's no longer working here,
but I can put you through
to somebody else to help you
I can't afford
to buy new all the time
No, no, it's all right
Thanks Bye
Bye
It's a cow, stupid
- Oh, is it ?
- Yeah
Something wrong, Molly ?
No
No, it's all right
Should get a taxi,
though
No, it's all right
Don't wanna spoil
your hairstyle
Put your scarf on
Keep warm
It's lovely
Eddie will love it
Yeah
Don't forget
your stuff now
Take care, Jackie
And you, love
Thank you
See you later
Good night
Give us a call
Bye, darling
Bye
I don't think
she likes it, Jackie
Oh, it's all right
No, her face
is tripping her
She ain't been herself,
though, has she ?
Well, she's a miserable cow
sometimes
She ain't
She is You don't
know her like me
Hey, you look like
that man from the--
Why you stare ?
You look like the man
from the job center
You better run, 'cause
I'm strong like a lion!
Hi, Donna
Oh, hello
Um,
I've locked myself out,
and Eileen's not back home yet,
so I'm stuck rather
Well, do you wanna come in ?
Yes, please
Where's my burger ?
They ran out
Eh ? What ?
We'll get off now, eh ?
Can't we stay
till the end ?
Thank you
Come on
Come on, kids,
upstairs
Well, here's to you
Mmm Touch more
rum, I think
Mmm
Tastes all right to me
You are just fucking
kidding me, you
Who the fucking hell do you
think you are, knobhead?
What's your fucking problem, son ?
I'm sorry, mate
Fucking-- What ?
You cheeky fucking hippie
I--
Fucking let you out,
haven't I ? Move it !
You fucking nugget !
Well, go on, then
Edge out Edge out, lad
Why can't you support someone
useful, like, um, Arsenal ?
Well, you support
Crystal Palace as well
Or Tottenham
I only support Palace
'cause you do, son
I never did as a kid, did I ?
Can we get a McDonald's ?
We'll get you something to eat, yeah,
don't worry about it
If we pass a McDonald's,
I'll get you a McDonald's
All right
And if we don't,
I'll get you something else
Like ?
Like something else
Like a pizza or a burger
or something
I dunno Whatever
Whatever we see
Amazingly straightforward
for the team in second place
Watford never looked like
recovering from an early charge
in which Stuart McCall
scored from yards
And it was only
after Lee Mills
So, what do you want ?
Burger and chips
Burger and chips
Coming in ?
No
Come on,Jack
Cheer up, eh ?
Yes, please
Bye, Agnes
Bye
See you, Ruby
See you tomorrow
Bye
Yeah, see you tomorrow
Yeah
Tell me why
Why would you
waste your time
Coming around here
After you let me down
Go on
Who, me ?
What, dancing ?
Yes
Listen,
I'm no dancer
Why would you
go out that way
Leaving all of your
Love letters
on the wall
Leaving
was all your call
Come on
Well
Loving was through
You just had to
Write love letters
on the wall
Why are you here tonight
causing a scene
I got a brand new life
Someone loves me
Spreading your rumors
around
But all your lies
did not work out
Did not work out
However what goes around
comes around
And your turn will come
With all your love letters
on the wall
Yeah
Leaving was all your call
Yes, it was
Loving was through
Oh, go, Bill, go
But you just had to
Love letters
on the wall
Listen, Donna
I should go, really
I should, uh--
Eileen must be back by now,
so I should go
Okay
You come back around
Back around
Hey, Eileen Oi !
I got locked out
I was locked out
I come back from the shop,.
I couldn't get back in
Didn't have the keys
See ?
Anyway,
here's your shopping
Will you shut
that bloody dog up ?
Yeah Okay Okay
I know this is
bad timing, Molly
I mean, it's never
gonna be a good time,
is it ?
You know, you're always going on
about what a great cook I am
I know this may not seem like
the best time to embark on a new career
I mean, I know--
Shit
Hey
You look great
Molly?
So how was work ?
I was-- I was
going to tell you
I didn't want you to worry
Mm
Molly, come on
I'm sorry
I just didn't want to--
You know what
I'm gonna do ?
I'm gonna, uh,
I'm gonna-- I'm gonna
get some shopping in,
okay?
I'm gonna cook us
a great meal
We're gonna talk
And we can talk
Moll?
You look--
You look great
Thank you very much Hello, thank you
and welcome to Who's Sorry Now,
television's only grudge match
where we give two twosomes
the opportunity to air their
grievances and settle old scores
Got you a video, Jack
Thanks
Have you seen it ?
Yeah It's funny
Yeah ?
I'm just gonna nip out for a while
All right
Won't be long
See you later
Yeah Bye
At the end of each round, our studio
audience will vote to decide
who's right and who's wrong
And the loser will have to take
their chance on our wheel of shame
Ohh !
Oh, yes
Hiya
Is your name Nadia ?
Oh, please
- Hi I'm Dan
- You bastard,
you put on a voice
No, I didn't
Yes, you did
No, it's the phone
It's one of those--
It's not the bloody phone
It's you
It's an anon-- anomaly
This is great
What a night we're gonna have
I'm not gonna spend
the night with you
Why not ?
You know why not
- How are ya ?
I'm all right, actually
I'm fine How are you ?
I'm all right
What are you up to ?
Well, you're
looking splendid
I do, don't I ?
Where'd you get that ?
The ring ?
No, no, the suit
The suit ?
Yeah
The suit shop
Suits "R" Us
I got it from
How long have you
been in this game ?
It's not a game
You know,
the Lonely Hearts thing
I haven't been doing it
very long at all
I bet you've been
doing it for years
First time
As I said on the phone,
this is my first time
I don't believe you
You-- You never
trusted me, did you ?
Anyway, what's this thing
about estate management ?
Well, you know,
I used to have
an estate--
a Vauxhall estate
Oh, stop it
And you said
you had a BMW
I have got a BMW
No, you haven't No
I have got a BMW
I have I have
What happened to, um,
um,
Lawrence ?
You know
it wasn't Lawrence
What was his name ?
It was Ryan
Ryan
What happened to Ryan ?
Mind your own business
I'm only asking
Jesus, it's not
an odd question to ask
I haven't seen you for ages
What happened to him ?
Why do you always try
and be funny ?
It's better than trying
not to be funny, isn't it ?
Don't be putting your coat on
That's not polite, is it ?
I'm not staying
Why ? Why ?
You know why
This is ridiculous
I can't have a drink with you
Why not ?
We're just old friends
having a drink together
We're not old friends
Revise that statement
Okay, I'm old,
and you're not
Why are you leaving ?
I've got somewhere else
to go now
Somewhere else to go ?
You meeting someone else ?
You're double-dating me
Ah, that's not nice,
is it ?
Oh, don't leave
Come on
You're incredible
It's only early
Don't leave
You really are incredible
I couldn't believe it
I'll tell Debbie
You will not
If you tell Debbie,
I'll wring your bloody neck
Okay At least
there'll be physical contact
Was that enough done for you ?
Yeah It was really nice
Did you like it ?
Yeah It was great
It's the only thing I make, so--
Well, I'm glad you made it
for me It was great
Great Phew
Yeah
Neighbors are quite noisy,
aren't they ?
Do they do tap dancing
or something ?
I can't stand you
With lots of--
It was a sort of nightclub party
for my sister's birthday
Mm-hmm
And we just got chatting away, really
I mean, I've known him
for years, but something
sort of happened, and--
Had you fancied him before--
- When you've a chance,
pint here, please
All right
Elaine,
I know your name
I bet you say that to all the girls
It drives me insane, Elaine
Oh, can you make me tame, Elaine ?
What time are you finishing ?
Not till after ..
After : ?
I'll be here after :
Will ya ? I'll have to
sit that side of the bar
Yeah
- Five past : I'll be here
And then she sings to him
that old little love song
It's the song she learned
Is that it, Dan ?
Is that it, Dan ?
Anything else ?
Eh--
Where are you going now ?
Where are you taking me ?
I don't know
Somewhere nice
Yeah Wherever
Oh, let us go
to the banks of the ocean
On the boat
I used to be a man
Now, dear Margaret
You know, you never told me
where you're from
Dublin
It beats London
I'm not a fan of London at all
Do you think you'll
go back there to live ?
Dublin ?
Yeah
Eh Yeah, maybe
I don't know
I haven't
made up me mind, really
I'm not great
at makin' plans, ya know?
Yeah
I should go, really, 'cause
I'm working tomorrow
Oh Right
Yeah I should go
That's it
Will you be all right, or do you
want me to call you a cab ?
Um--
Um, well, I'll get a bus
Okay
Can I ring you, Tim ?
Yeah Sure
Okay
Skirt
All right
Take care
Yeah
Bye-bye
I'll see ya, yeah ?
Okay
Would you like a cigarette ?
Sorry ?
Here
Have a cigarette
Sorry
You don't want a cigarette ?
Are you enjoying that beer ?
What ?
You didn't even open it Here
It's all right No
Oh, shit
Fuck
Hello ?
Debbie ? It's me
Fuck's sake, Molly,
what is it ?
Eddie's gone
What do you mean ?
Eddie We had a fight
He's not come home
Oh, Molly--
All right, darling
I don't know what to do
Listen, Molly, listen
I'm meetin' Nad at : caf
Yeah ?
You wanna come for coffee, yeah ?
Um, yeah
Yeah All right
I gotta go, Molly
Bye
All right Bye
For fuck's sake
Ohh Poor darling
Excuse me
Hi Hi
Let's listen to the prophets
that God rises up,
as we are shown
through their messages
our sins, our shortcomings
And so we thank God for not
leaving us in our slumber,
but awakening us, awakening us
to our true condition
And yet, the messages
of the prophets
are not all doom and gloom
I wanna take you home
- I wanna be with you
- You might be my girlfriend
Franklyn, aren't you
out of there yet ?
Franklyn--
Get out !
You might be my girlfriend
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
yeah, yeah, yeah
- You can't get it
- Franklyn!
Do I come into your room ? No
What are you doing in mine ?
Can you leave ?
Bye-bye Bye-bye
What's wrong with you, huh ?
Nothing
You want to know what I think ?
No, but you're gonna tell me anyway
I think it's wrong for you to bottle up
things the way that you do
Well, I wish
I could be just like you
You are so secretive, Franklyn, It's like
having a stranger living in my house
- Total stranger
- Okay Fine
- Get out !
Can you leave those, plea--
Can you lea--
I don't wanna know the details
of your bloody laundry
My head's spinning
Is it ?
Yeah
You taking anything ?
No
It's disgusting,
that cigarette smoke
Sorry, Molly
Can't help it
You sometimes smoke
What are you talkin' about ?
You're a party smoker
Have you told her yet, Molly ?
What ?
Eddie's left her
What ?
Shut up
Eddie's left her
She doesn't care
She does care
She doesn't care
Are you being serious ?
She phoned me at :
this morning to tell me
Is this true ?
Yeah, it's true
- What happened ?
- He quit his job He didn't
tell me He lied to me
I came home
I confronted him about it
He fucked off
Has he called yet ?
No He hasn't called
Fuck's sake What
are you laughing at ?
What is so funny ?
I'm sorry
What is so funny?
It's funny to you, is it ?
Molly--
Probably just fed up,
Molly
Fed up with what ?
I dunno
Probably just worried
about the baby
She always takes the man's side
She always does
No, no
She's not-- She's not--
Don't try and defend her
You don't know either
- Bloody hell
- You don't know
what it's like
It's not fucking funny
I know I'm sorry
I'm really sorry
Nadia ?
- I feel sick
Oh, Molly
Fuck's sake
Oh, Molly, don't cry
Fuck's sake What's wrong
with this bloody family?
What are you crying for,
Molly?
It's not that bad,
darlin'
Do you want a tissue ?
I don't know
if I've got one
Look at your hair, Molly
What a mess !
Oh, shit Rain
Debbie ? I--
Yeah ?
Eh ? What is it ?
What ?
I feel really weird
- I feel--
- Oh, my God
You're having a baby,
darling Hold on, right ?
Oh, God
It's all right I'll go
get a taxi for you, right ?
Shit
Bloody hell
Come on, taxi
Shit
Fucking hell She's all right
She's having a baby
I just gotta get a taxi
Get dressed, Darren We gotta
get out of the room by ..
This is the control room of VR ,
the world's first ride combining
head-mounted display virtual reality--
Can I speak to your dad for a minute ?
Huh ?
He's just gone down to
the fish and chip shop
All right
Listen I'm at the hospital
Molly's having a baby
Oh, is she ?
Yeah So I don't think we'll make
bonfire tonight, darling
Oh
Can't help it, Jack
You might have to stay there
with your dad, all right ?
Yeah
I was-- I was
just wondering
what you're doing
Well, you know,
I mean, later
Uh, if you haven't got any plans,
you could come over maybe
Um, yeah That'd be great
Yeah ?
Uh-huh
Right Um, well,
I'll see you around :
yeah ?
Okay Yeah Great
You've got the address ?
Yeah
Great Then,
I'll see you later
All right Bye
She's in the middle
of a contraction now
Thank you
Aw Okay Okay, Molly
Come on
You're doing really good
Look at me Look at me, Molly
In through your nose
and out through your mouth
Oh, my God
Slowly That's it
That's it That's it
Debbie, I can't do this
You're doing fine
You're doing fine
You're right
That's beautiful
Well done Well done
Clever girl
'Course it hurts
a little, Molly
That's lovely
Debbie ?
This is the Royal Pavilion, one of
the elite hotels on the island--
You have to wonder, why oil?
with any of the great cities
of Europe,
and it didn't get where it is today
by thinking small
Hiya, Nad
What are you doing here ?
Uh, you haven't seen our Jack, have you ?
No Why ?
Uh, I just been 'round
to your Debbie's, and there
was no one in there,
so I thought he might
have come 'round here
It says "welcome"
Can I come in ?
Yeah
How are ya ?
I'm all right
What's going on ?
Nothin' I was just
lookin' forJack I was
meant to drive him back
to Debbie's today,
and, um, when I woke up,
he wasn't there
What ? So you haven't
seen him today at all ?
Both of us were asleep--
You haven't seen him
since last night ?
No, but he was there,
you know what I mean ?
Oh, bloody hell
Anyway, how are ya ?
Did you have a good time
last night ?
Nad, it's no big deal, you know
what I mean ? I don't know why
you're getting so annoyed
All's I need to know is
what park the bonfire thingy
is in
Help !
Shut up!
Help! Help!
Shut up!
Get off! Get off!
Shit
So what's next, then, Nad ?
I'm gonna ring the police
Fuckin' genius idea
What's wrong with that ? Have
you got a better suggestion,
then ?
It's all right, Molly
All right
Debbie Phillips ?
Telephone call
That'll be Eddie, darling
I told you he'd come
It's her first baby
Oh, she'll be fine
It's just there
All right Thanks,
darling Hello ?
Hello, Mum ?
Hello, Jack
What you phoning for ?
I'm at the police station
What ? What the fuck
you doing there ?
I got mugged
Oh, fuck's sake, Jack !
- I can't bloody believe this
Where's your dad ?
- I dunno
- I can't bloody believe this
Where's your dad ?
- I dunno
I think he's at the pub
Bloody hell
Listen, Jack
Don't bloody move
Just stay there, right ?
Yeah Okay
Mummy's coming, darling
Okay Um, Giles ?
Yeah ?
Can I meet you in resus ?
Can we go to resus, lad ?
His name's Eddie
Eddie ? Hello, Eddie
There's quite a lot of damage
to the motorcycle as well
Just gonna
cut your trousers
He should phone home
His girlfriend's pregnant
Could you just hold--
Breath
Hold the breath
Push down on your bottom,
like you're on the loo
Come on, sweetheart That's it
Well done Keep it coming
Right Will you tell her we're on our way?
Thanks Bye
Bye-bye
What's going on ?
Molly's started,
and she's on her own
Where's Eddie ?
It's Eddie
I don't know
Eh ?
He's useless
I never liked him
That's right That's right
You never liked anyone,
did you ?
Always carping, eh ?
Always finding fault
It's never your fault,
is it ?
That's why Darren left
'Cause he couldn't
stand living with you,
that's why he left
Come on
Now boarding on Platform seven,
the Virgin train service to Manchester
Piccadilly, calling at Stoke-on-Trent--
I'm just gonna make a phone call,
all right ?
Yeah ?
Yeah
One second
I'll sit down
We've got reserved seats
Bill and Eileen can't
answer your call right now,
but if you would like to
leave a message, we'll get back
to you as soon as we can
Please speak
after the beep
Hi It's Darren
Uh, just to say hi, I'm fine
Bye
He's there
All right,Jack ?
Hello ? Can I help ?
I'm his father
Yeah Would you like
to come over here, please ?
Just talkin' to him In a sec
Okay, darling ?
Woman just said
you got mugged, eh ?
What happened?
What did they do to you ?
I was watching the fireworks,
and they came up to me
and took my wallet and bag
Where's your mum ?
She's coming
Jack, don't be crying
You've managed to get hold
of her, have you ?
Where is she ?
At the hospital
Did these lads hurt you ?
With Molly
So Molly's having her baby ?
Brilliant
That's something, eh ?
You're gonna have a cousin,
eh ?
Where the fuck
have you been, eh ?
Come on, darlin'
Let's take you home Eh ?
Is it Mrs Phillips ?
Yeah
Yeah
Can I have a word?
I'm his mum
Has Jack ever run away before ?
No He's supposed to be
looking after him, isn't he ?
Mrs Phillips, I'm just
asking you a question
I was at hospital
It's not our concern
He was on his own
You all right, darling ?
If he ends up here again,
we'll be onto the Social
Can I take him home, yeah ?
Yes, please And make sure
you look after him now
Yes, I will Come on
Coming, Nadia ?
Shit
Debbie, I'll give you
a lift home, yeah ?
Just fuck off, Dan, eh ?
Debbie, I'll
give youse a lift
No Fuck off!
What are you shoutin'
at me for ?
- Will you fucking grow up ?
- You don't even know what
fucking well happened !
- You don't deserve to have
a kid, Dan! Fucking prick!
- Oh, behave!
Listen to someone
for once !
Keep it coming,
darling Keep it coming
Little push
Okay Okay
Little push Little push
Little push
Okay Big breath, Molly
Big breath
Come on Come on, Molly
No, no, no !
Don't waste the pushes
Come on Don't waste the pushes
Okay
Okay ? Okay ?
Okay? You've
got a contraction
Push Push
Keep it coming
Give me a push
Give me a push
Big push Big push
down in your bottom
Just breathe
Just breathe
Long push in your bottom,
in your bottom That's it, Work with me
That's it That's it
That's it Come out, darling
Well done
Oh, God Oh, God
Oh--
Well done, darling
Okay Okay
Okay Okay Okay
It's a girl
It's a girl, Molly, yeah ?
Molly, what I'd like for you
to do now is just to turn over
so we can deliver the afterbirth,
yeah ?
Come on, darling
Come on
Turn over for me
Turn over Be careful
Just lift your leg, yeah ?
Take your time
Take your time Be careful
That's it That's it
Lovely
Oh, God
Oh, sh, sh,
sh, sh
Oh, sweetie, oh
Hello Hello
Hello
Oh Sh
Molly?
Molly It's Eddie
Pick up the phone
Molly, if you're there,
will you pick up the phone ?
I'm sorry, okay ?
Just pick up the phone
Hello ?
Hello, love
Molly ?
Hi, Mum
Oh, hi
How are you, darling ?
You all right, love ?
Uh-huh
Clever girl
Oh, she's--
She looks a bit cold
Let's give Mummy a cuddle
Hello
There you go, Molly
Oh, hello Oh
There you go
There's a little girl
- Just keep her nicely wrapped up
- What you gonna call her ?
Alice
Hello, Alice
Alice
That's her there
Molly ! Molly !
God
Ohh
Can you just--
What happened?
I-- I had a bit
of an accident
- Can you just leave us
for a couple of minutes ?
- Shall I take Alice ?
No It's all right
Don't be too long
It's very drafty
- Mum, it's fine
- You sure ?
Yeah, I am sure
Thank you
All right
Show us where things are, then ?
Yeah
Give us a shout, Molly
All right
I'll come and get you
I shan't be far away
Where the fuck have you been ?
I don't know
what happened, Moll
I just-- I--
I just panicked
I just freaked out
Is she okay ?
She's perfect
Aren't you ?
Yes, you are, darling
What about you ?
Are you all right ?
Yeah I'm all right
Molly, can I have--
have a look at her ?
She's sleeping
Come on I just want to see her face
Can you see her ?
Alice
Like in Wonderland
All right, darling ?
You had me fucking worried
for a minute, Jack
Eh ? Come here, darling
Feel a little sick, do you ?
Bet you do
Mm-h'm
Your dad's a fucking idiot,
isn't he ?
He loves you really,
darling Just stupid
sometimes
You know ?
You have one message
Message one
It's Darren
Uh, just to say hi, I'm fine
Bye
End of message
You have one message
Message one
It's Darren
Uh, just to say hi, I'm fine
Bye
Yeah Toast
Toast with cheese on top
Your favorite
Eh ?
Yeah
Dad !
Hello
Hello, love
Hello
Nice to see you,
eh ?
And you
Are you all right ?
Yeah Of course
I'm all right
Good
Um, did you hear about--
Baby girl, yeah
Yeah Yeah Makes me
a bloody grandfather again
- Um, Darren called
- Did he ?
Well, he didn't speak much
He just left a message
on the machine,
but he seemed happy enough
Good
Yeah
I've just given your mum
a lift to the hospital
Anyway--
Bill ? Bill, uh,
I thought
that might help
Yeah Thanks Very good
There's a page here--
I marked the page
It's brilliant, yeah
Yeah
Hello
Hi
- You two know each other ?
- Yeah
- No
Well, make your minds up
Listen, I just popped by to say hello
Better get off to work
All right, then
I'll see you soon, Dad
Yeah I have to, uh--
Sure
See ya
Look in again
When your mum's in next time, eh ?
She's dyin'to see ya
All right
How are you ?
Not too bad
How's work ?
Greasy
Greasy ? Yeah ?
I like your hair
Oh, thanks
Oh, be careful